This ‘Twilight’ Robot Baby Looks Like Chucky, Will Haunt Your Dreams Forever

So there’s this Twilight movie that all the kids like, or liked 5 years ago, or something. We are not 16 so we don’t care. But we care a lot about this doll thing, because it is SO CREEPY.

Apparently the completely boring girl Bella and the completely boring vampire Edward make a baby at some point in the Twilight saga because of course. Except that it’s a very special baby that is both regualar babby and demon hellspawn, or something, so it has to be extra special. We didn’t really understand from the video clip why it had to be a horrifying hellbaby, but it is something something something about how babby is only one day old but is already like a toddler, or something. Let’s go to the Twilight wiki for more info, shall we?

Born on September 11, 2006[1] Renesmee (pronounced Ruh-nez-may) “Nessie” Carlie Cullen is the resident vampire/human hybrid of the Olympic coven. She is the daughter of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan and the imprintee of Jacob Black. […] She has the abilities to show people her thoughts by touching them and presumably break through their mental defenses. Bella initially gets angry and attacks Jacob for giving her daughter the nickname “Nessie” as well as imprinting on her. Irina of the Denali Coven sees Renesmee and believes she is an immortal child, a human child who had been turned by a vampire. […] She is the only hybrid currently known to have supernatural gifts.

Oh, well, then that clears up EVERYTHING. Basically, she has to be hybrid baby like that baby-lizard combo on the original “V” series from the 1980s.

reptile-baby_med

True fact that thing was awful, but apparently not as awful as this human-vamp baby that had to actually be cut from the film as it was so laughable and creepy at the same time. The video explains what how the thing weighed 60 pounds and had to be supported by two other people while whoever the hell that person is in the video holding it. The baby robot vampire creepily strokes her cheek and oh god thank god we do not have any actual babies because we would be hiding those things in the closet right now. Seriously, this thing, which the producers of the film wisely dubbed “Chuckesmee,” is about as hideous as Chucky

This 'Twilight' Robot Baby Looks Like Chucky, Will Haunt Your Dreams Forever

…but it scales new heights of alarming because it moves around and uses its alien hands to softly stroke and now all we can think of is this other creepy robot:

Don’t mind us. We’ll be in the corner taking an axe to every doll and every piece of technology in the house for the rest of the day.

Tag: Twilight

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  • $73376667

    This isn’t sideboob! This isn’t sideboob at all!

  • JMP

    That V lizard baby creeped me the fuck out when I was a kid.Isn’t naming your kid “Renesmee” a form of child abuse? Sadly thanks to Twilight’s popularity I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a bunch of them in the real world now.