Twilight (2008) (part 2 of 9)

Non-verbose relationship established, Bella, Charlie and the Moustache arrive at their house. Bella mentions she’s been accustomed to holidaying here, which we totally needed to know. Especially via voiceover.

Charlie shows Bella to her room, talks awkwardly about the furnishings and then shuffles out. Bella’s voiceover notes that one of the best things about him is that “he doesn’t hover”. Okay, that was worth a smile.

Alone, Bella sits down on the bed but is interrupted in her blank-faced moping by the arrival of two guests outside. Two Native American guys have shown up with a big rusty old red ute. Oh, right, you guys are mostly Americans. Uh… it’s a pickup truck, then. That’s better.

Charlie helpfully introduces us to one of the visitors—an older guy in a wheelchair. His name is Billy Black and he has a totally awesome hat. The hat and the moustache should so get a spinoff movie. I’m just sayin’.

Caption contributed by The Mud Puppy

Looks like Clint Black’s fallen on tough times.

With Billy is his son Jacob, a younger guy wearing an obvious long-haired wig. Hey, he’s kinda cute. And… damn those are long canines. Oh, so he’s the vampire, then? That was quick. Hm, he doesn’t look much like the guy on the DVD case… he’s still hot, though!

What? I’m a girl, stupid! The relative hotness of guys is all we care about! Twilight told me so.

Jacob talks to Bella, reminding her that they knew each other when they were little kids. There’s some definite chemistry between them, and he’s obviously attracted to her, going on the stammering and so forth. It’s so cute when they do that!

Caption contributed by Jet

“Oh yeah, Jacob got fans. Jacob got lotsa fans.”

Charlie interrupts, showing Bella the ute- uh, I mean the pickup truck. It’s a gift for her, and—hey, wait, she changed her expression! Holy hell, I was not prepared for that. Bella is delighted with her new truck (note she says “oh my gosh” here instead of “oh my god”, because blasphemy is a big no-no in Mormonism). Jacob boasts that he rebuilt the engine, and the two hop in to check it out.

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Arya

[removed by request]

Multi-Part Article: Twilight (2008)

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