Toby Keith Will Not Allow Guns In His Fancy Eatin’ Restaurant So The Terrorists Have Already Won

Toby Keith Will Not Allow Guns In His Fancy Eatin' Restaurant So The Terrorists Have Already Won

It’s tough when your heroes let you down. Take Toby Keith, for example. His restaurant, Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill, should be a place where a man brings his guns and his prayer book and his Obummer = Socialist shirt. But Toby Keith turns out to be a filthy gun-hating Democrat liebrul.

The latest Toby Keith restaurant opened in Woodbridge. Prominently displayed on the front door is a sign saying: “NO GUNS PERMITTED.”

Virginia happens to be a gun-friendly state, where it’s quite permissible for citizens to strap on a weapon and go into a bar or restaurant, as long as the weapon is clearly visible. State law is silent on the issue of drinking while openly carrying a gun. (State law does prohibit most citizens who are legally carrying a concealed weapon from consuming alcohol, but they, too, are allowed to go into a bar or restaurant.)


People are rip-roaring mad, and they’re showing how they feel all DEFCON 1 about this by taking it to Facebook because that’ll learn him.

Facebook has erupted over the issue, with one patron saying she’s “disappointed” and believes the no guns policy announces to criminals that “anyone leaving your establishment is likely completely defenseless and easy pickin’s for a robbery.” That poster said she will not patronize the new Toby Keith restaurant.

Another person wrote on the restaurant’s Facebook page: the no guns policy is “sad” and it creates a “more dangerous environment.”

Why does Toby Keith want his patrons to get robbed? Where on earth is the man who offered to put a boot in Osama bin Laden’s ass?

DID THIS SONG MEAN NOTHING? If Toby Keith won’t allow a Glock 9mm in Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar And Grill Bar And Grill, then the terrorist liebruls have already won. He prolly went soft on account of how he’s up in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G Bamz.

Toby Keith […] says he’s a Democrat, and was impressed by the senator from Illinois. […]

“So I thought it was beautiful the other day when Obama went to Afghanistan and got educated about Afghanistan and Iraq. He came back and said some really nice things.

“So as far as leadership and patriotism goes, I think it’s really important that those things have to take place. And I think he’s the best Democratic candidate we’ve had since Bill Clinton. And that’s coming from a Democrat.”

GodDAMN it. Where on earth is a good god-fearing gun-toting gentleman supposed to sup now? Sure, there’s Chick-fil-a, but we’re already eating breakfast and lunch there to support free speech Rosa Parks Abraham Lincoln Jesus Hero Phil Robertson, but in the evening, you like to dress up a bit, put on the jeans instead of the sweatpants, and drink a cold tasty ‘Merican beer like Budweiser except now we can’t even drink Bud because it is owned by a Euroweenie cabal. Red Lobster is closing, the folks that own Applebees have thus far failed to make their political affiliations known, and now Toby Keith is a 98-pound weakling who can’t even stand up to the anti-gun lobby.

Sorry, but we’ll be busy the rest of the day preparing our kickstarter/indiegogo/white house petition campaign to get Ted Nugent to start a chain of family-friendly yet filled with blond sexy ladies restaurants where we can strap on so many weapons it will be tough to lift a fork.


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  • Farb

    Nugent? Ted Nugent? That wimpsicle?! Ted done himself a rabbit when we was in Viet Nam. Using him and his fuming, gaping maw as a representative of anything at all other than a sunken chested low life with serious emotional issues is plain wrong!

  • Buddha Stalin

    “You can have onion rings when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.”

  • mondojohnson

    Try the Wango Tango Mango sorbet! It’s to die for!

  • kindness

    Ted Nugent famously liked them very young so there would have to be a limit at his place too. The sign would say:Women under 14 are allowed to have weapons. All other women not allowed.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Not looking forward to the “Poop-in-your-pants” Platter at Nugent’s Nuggets & Knockers. No I am not.

    • Ann

      Phil from duck dynasty said something about how girls should marry at fifteen or sixteen…they sure do like them young!

  • msanthropesmr

    There’s always Cracker Barrel.

  • $34357535

    “…where we can strap on so many weapons it will be tough to lift a fork.”Oh, like that sort of yokel even knows how to use a fork.

  • Manhattan123

    When does the Duck Dynasty chain of rootin’ tootin’ eatin’ shootin’ and fag bashin’ fine-dining establishments get started? Cause every right-wing redneck yokel in America will be on line. With Baby Jesus and a million angels on their shoulders of course.

    • James McCarty Yeager

      them duck dynasts sho’ly gonna start them a restaurant chain but i reckon they ain’t gonna serve no duck. cuz that’s fer their fella millionaires ta hunt. no sir, they gonna name their chain after what they serve, the ultimate in southron po’ folks food: “necks & okra.” you boil ’em all up together till they’re both slimier than the insides of the hole where darth cheney’s soul was supposed to be installed but wasn’t, and all the chemicals leach outta the chicken necks (that’s where they inject ’em, ya know?) inta the broth, and then serve the resultant slop over cornbread. “necks & okra.” nobody’ll be makin’ no redneck jokes then, will they?

      • Arcturus

        As far as I’m concerned you win this comment section.

  • Duckler

    Seems to me Mr Keith would like to keep his millions once a gun goes off and injures someone. Why do you hate the free market, Mr Keith?!

  • docterry6973

    Taking your gun into a bar is a great idea and what could possibly go wrong? Who knew Toby Keith was such a commie.Like others before him, Keith is finding that it is easier to get on the tiger of Stupid and ride than it is to get off it.

    • CripesAmighty

      As concise a description of the dilemma of the hillbillly huckster as I have read. Bet there’s a song in there, somewhere…

  • MilwaukeeKent

    I’m trying to think of how the three classic types of drunks might behave while armed: the Jocose would probably be a danger to the decor, yelling “Yee Haw!” and shootin’ out the lights; the Bellicose would most likely get in a stupid argument with a stranger and shoot to kill; the Morose would end the night by shooting themselves.In bars out west I wasn’t uncomfortable with people whose guns were holstered, anywhere else in the country the first thought is “What kind of issues does this asshole have?” and second thought is to go somewhere else.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    Another person wrote on the restaurant’s Facebook page: the no guns policy is “sad” and it creates a “more dangerous environment.”

    These people will lurve flying on Guns Allowed Airlines (GAA). What could be safer?

    • Deleted

      This post was deleted.

  • Mickey Bitsko

    Looks like a CNN set.

    • Duckler

      Was it all of the booze that gives it away?

  • peteywheats

    Well, at least this Demonrat-gun-snatcher kerfluffle keeps people’s attention off of the fact that their truck-selling macho country star is probably getting gay married.

  • $160578

    Rednecks who routinely ignore laws restricting carrying guns will nonetheless generally not carry them into a bar. It’s been a largely unspoken convention for a long time – a rare bit of consensus self-awareness that mixing booze, games of chance, braggadocio and Patsy Cline songs with guns can lead to death.

  • pragmastist

    With all the drugged up lunatics out there plus the sober lunatics I can see why someone would want to have a concealed weapon but to openly display it is getting sorta’ phallic. Paging Dr. Freud!