Tips For Doing Halloween Blackface Right, By The Guy Who Went As Dead Trayvon Martin

Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman: what a wacky pair!
Florida Man William Filene, 25, had pretty much the greatest Halloween costume in the history of ever: Trayvon Martin, in minstrel-style blackface, with a hilarious blood stain on his chest, from where he was shot with a gun and murdered at the age of 17!

Great one, Bill! Just super funny and awesome.

But some people’s awesome blackface costumes weren’t as awesome as Bill’s up there. For instance, Julianne Hough has apologized for darkening her skin to play Orange Is the New Black’s “Crazy Eyes.”

Tips For Doing Halloween Blackface Right, By The Guy Who Went As Dead Trayvon Martin

Orange may be the new black, but Julianne Hough is NOT the new black! (See what we did there? That is just some very good writing.)

And then some white people probably thought to themselves that it seems okay to make oneself up to portray a specific person, like Hough up there, or like Nasim Pedrad did while playing Aziz Ansari and then everyone got so mad and it is not like she just put on some Indian Clothes and did Simpsons-style Apu voices, she did a totally good Aziz Ansari!

And everybody loves Crazy Eyes! WTF!

And this, also! Too!

And also the Australian guy on HBO (HBO, right?) whose show we can’t remember right now who plays a Chinese mom gaying up her skateboarding prodigy son so she can sell gay dildoes with his face on them, as well as an upper-middle-class black rapper from LA who thinks he is so street. That is some straight up blackface and Chineseface and middle-aged-white-ladyface, but he is playing individual characters, who are hilarious. Frankly, we never understood why more people weren’t SO PISSED about the show. “Equal opportunity offender” hasn’t worked since Jackie Mason was doing jokes about getting your Goy son-in-law to set the clock for you on your VCR.

So those are some examples of blackface that some people have a problem with, and other people don’t have a problem with because of how they either a) find them “nuanced,” b) don’t think they hold anyone up to ridicule, and if we can just all portray each other without it being a big deal maybe that actually WOULD be postracial, or c) the (white) people who think that are not really very racially transcendent, and it really isn’t up to them anyway, and not every opinion is equal. Hard to decide!

On the other hand, these fellows weren’t intending to demean anyone either, MAYBE, and yet didn’t you get a thrill up your leg the first time you saw Harry Connick Jr. be all Flaming Sword of Death to Racists at them?

Where were we? Oh yes. Florida Man’s great costume. Very fun and great, we are sure. Note the craft that went into the naturalistic makeup. Appreciate the care that went into making the ketchup spatter just the right size for a teenage boy to bleed out of. Recognize that he isn’t even going to be able to wear that hoodie again for whole nother year, and the sartorial sacrifice he has made. Also, note that he has two equally fucking idiot friends.

[TSG]

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