Tim Tebow Will Help You Be The Manliest Jesus Lover Ever Just Like Tim Tebow
How’d you guys spend Easter? Dinner with the family? Avoiding dinner with the family? Being a heathen or a Jew? No matter, because now you’re sad that you did not celebrate Easter chopping wood, like Jesus did (carpenters chopped their own wood, right?), with a beswollen Tim Tebow and a bearded dude from Duck Dynasty. Oh, fuck you if you think we can keep the Duck Dynasty guys straight.
All we can think of when we look at that tweet is that Tim Tebow is morphing into that dude Ronnie from Jersey Shore.
The Duck Dynasty dude is Jase Robertson, who is not the grizzled patriarch that said really racist and homophobic things, but is probably still pretty racist and homophobic, maybe?!
Either way, it is nice to see that Tim is keeping busy since no one will actually let him play football, mostly because he was sort of bad at playing football. No matter, because it frees up time so he can work on his pecs and tour with Robertson to talk about how much they love Jesus.
Tebow and Robertson, who are both devout Christians, were first seen together on a 2013 speaking circuit in which they shared their personal testimonies and faith with several high school football teams. […]
The two men will hit the speaking circuit again this July, stopping by the University of South Florida for the 2014 Wildfire “Men’s Impact Weekend” conference.
Man, we are PUMPED for that conference! Pumped like Tim Tebow’s glistening muscles, because it will also have such luminaries as Bobby Bowden and Brock Gray! OK actually we have no idea who those people are, but we’re sure they will lead us to Jesus because we will be doing Manly Jesus Stuff together all weekend.
[From the Mission Statement] To create a movement that inspires men to deepen their relationship with God, the one who placed these longings of competition, adventure, and the outdoors in their soul.
To use what men love — hunting, fishing, football, baseball, motorcycles, classic cars, sporting competitions, racing, extreme sports and other outdoor activities — to bring them closer to the heart of God.
Man, nothing says “I would like to honor the life of a simple impoverished carpenter from Galilee” like classic cars, right?? And we feel closer to Jesus just thinking about playing football with Tim Tebow. Our journey to faith is gonna be SO RAD, DUDE.