Apr 29, 2018
Lady At ‘Thought Catalog’ Likes Lady Things, Is Walking Talking ‘Sex And The City’ Episode
THOUGHT CATALOG! It has been a minute since Thought Catalog came through for us with some delightfully not-at-all-self-aware bit of gender talk. That one was for the boys, but this one is for the ladies and is all about how awesome it is to be a lady and giggle with your ladyfriends and just generally get your flounce on. Let’s dive in!
First up: Ladies, it is awesome to shave your legs “and you can’t stop running your hands up and down your silky marble columns and you imagine that this is what a mermaid must feel like.” First, we never want to hear the phrase “silky marble columns” again because WTF and second, we always imagined mermaids to have bottom halves that were rather fish-like and therefore not smooth?
Ladies also like perfect moisturizers, because they finding one is like being kissed by Jesus. Damn, son, we have to step up our moisturizer game because there is no Jesus-kissing involved. Maybe this lady buys her moisturizer from the hip Christian store and it comes pre-blessed?
Ladies also like:
- Sex toys, but only if they buy them at a giggly lady cocktail party.
- Nice bras, for the boobs.
- The right dress for when your ex-boyfriend sees you.
- Good hair.
- Facials (NOT THAT KIND, JESUS).
- Quoting “Sex and the City”
- Extensive discussions of nail polish with other ladyfriends.
- Finding the perfect bra-panty match and “it literally feels like you could become President as a direct result of this.” Lolwhut?
- Dressing like Meryl Streep, but only as she appears in “The Devil Wears Prada”
…prolly not so much as in, say, “Ironweed,” though that hat is simply adorbs.
But the best thing about being a lady, apparently, is not that you have boobs, silky marble columns, flouncy dresses or nail polish because the best thing is just being you, ladyperson!
It’s not the makeup you’ve been buying, or the clothes that nip in just at the waist, or the time someone told you you were sexy in bed. It’s when you’re happy, and un-self-conscious, and radiating a generosity of spirit.
Yeah, nothing says “radiating a generosity of spirit” like Prada and matching panties.
Ohmygod you guys she has an e-book with the best of her Thought Catalog catalog-y thoughts. One of you really has to buy it, but we do not want you to give it to us, because Christ no. Just read it and report back. You owe us.