Nov 22, 2019
Sarah Palin’s New Teevee Show Has A Theme Song And It Is Your New Jam, America
You guys we are so excited to bring you this sick new jam that is going to be the theme song for Sarah Palin’s latest teevee vanity project that she will quit in six months, “Amazing America.” Conveniently, the song is also too called “Amazing America” so Sarah can’t mess up the name. Haha she still will you guys.
Did you go listen? That song, brought to you courtesy of some band we have never heard of called “Madison Rising,” is indeed amazing, if by “amazing” we mean “almost unbearably bad to listen to.” It’s like Nickelback if Nickelback sucked 1000 times more than Nickelback. It’s like the dude from television’s “Sister Wives” started a band.
Except this band’s lead singer is no doubt way sexxxxier and more brooding and more inexplicably tattooed.
We can’t even get over the awful. It’s like Creed took a few years off, worked in an iron mine, and wrote a song about it. Now we have probably made you think about the time the lead singer of Creed made a sex tape with Kid Rock and some strippers and we are sorry not sorry.
Or maybe this song is more like the ice road trucker guys decided to form a jam band in their spare time. That would explain why the lyrics are so dreadful and plodding.
We believe in the USA/We built this country the American Way.
How long do you think they had to spitball to come up with rhyming “USA” with “American Way”? That’s some nuanced songwriting right there. Does it get worse from there? YEP.
We fish the water and hunt the lands/And forge the steel with our own two hands.
Did you watch the video? ‘Cause if you did, you saw that during the lyrics above they did indeed show someone fishing, hunting, and forging steel. What is it with conservative anthems that they all need to be so literal minded? This thing is one step away from just being “America, Fuck Yeah.”
Great liberal songs are not like this, are they? This is as if Woody Guthrie, instead of writing “This Land is Your Land” just wrote:
Oh I’m a liberal/yes I’m a liberal/oh gosh a liberal/fuck yeah a liberal.
So, on a scale of one to Accidental Racist, with one being blissful silence and Accidental Racist being Accidental Racist, this thing is a solid CPAC Panel moderated by James O’Keefe. Keep on rockin’ America.