Nov 16, 2017
The Wild World of Batwoman (1966) (part 1 of 9)
The Cast of Characters:
Batwoman (Katherin Victor). Our heroine, who in no way shape or form is meant to evoke images of Batman. Nope, not a chance. You can take it to the bank, honest! And yes, that is how she spells her first name, in this film at least. Her main superpower is sitting on her ass, talking on the phone, and doing nothing truly useful. So basically, she’s Peg Bundy, only with much worse taste in clothes.
Jim Flanagan (Steve Brodie). Our leading man. The result of a genetic splice between a stupid, bland movie hero, a few quarts of raw sewage, and Jack Benny. Falls for Batwoman, most likely because she’s the only woman who doesn’t kick him in the groin on sight.
JB Christians (Richard Banks). Jim’s boss, and an inventor who has a bad habit of letting patents expire without notifying his employees. Also has a “surprise” that will only come as a surprise to those with a long history of substance abuse.
Rat Fink (Telling the actor’s name would give away the surprise, but think of the name “Dick Moneystoragebuilding” and try to apply it to the actor names listed above). Our fiendish villain, sometimes played by stock footage from a Mexican wrestling movie.
Professor G. Octavius Neon (George Andre). The most German German scientist in the history of German scientists. Does to the English language what a meat grinder does to you when you stick your tongue in it. Rat Fink’s chief henchman, though given that the man is a complete idiot who conducts random experiments at inappropriate times, that could be pushing the term in a variety of ways.
Heathcliff (Lloyd Nelson). A horrible demon birthed from the bowels of Hell—Um, sorry. I mean, Professor Neon’s assistant and the film’s Odious Comic Relief. He’s the reason you’ll probably want to put a hit on Jerry Lewis by the end of this review.