May 23, 2004
The Skydivers (1963) (part 5 of 7)
We head back to Suzy’s Lake of Love, and this time she’s got second choice Frankie with her. Coleman gives us lots of shots of the boat motor (yes, it’s a Johnson). Then there’s a shot of Suzy’s butt, then water lapping by the side of the boat, the motor again, Suzy’s armpit, Frankie drinking a beer, Suzy’s butt, water lapping again. To top it off, he accompanies this montage with Russian Cossack music. It actually sounds a lot like the Tetris theme music, come to think of it.
They pull up to shore. Frankie gets out and starts to help Suzy out, but the shot jumps, and Frankie and Suzy are now chasing each other around the boat. Oh, and the boat has magically grown a sail. This whole movie is like one of those puzzles with two drawings, where you have to spot all the differences between the top one and the bottom one.
After they get done chasing each other, they head onto the sand. And right in the middle of all the beach’s rocks and prickly scrub plants, the love birds have placed a blanket. Suzy implies she can get Frankie’s job back for him by sleeping with Harry. But good ol’ dense Frankie doesn’t see how that would work.
Suzy switches tactics, first talking about Crazy Freefalling Pete dying, then getting all psychotic. She asks Frankie what would happen if they poured acid on someone’s parachute. “Eh-cid?” Frankie asks. “Eh-cid would eat holes in the chute.” Gah! This guy’s delivery is so bad, it makes Richard Kiel look like Orson Welles.