The Skydivers (1963) (part 5 of 7)

We head back to Suzy’s Lake of Love, and this time she’s got second choice Frankie with her. Coleman gives us lots of shots of the boat motor (yes, it’s a Johnson). Then there’s a shot of Suzy’s butt, then water lapping by the side of the boat, the motor again, Suzy’s armpit, Frankie drinking a beer, Suzy’s butt, water lapping again. To top it off, he accompanies this montage with Russian Cossack music. It actually sounds a lot like the Tetris theme music, come to think of it.

Caption contributed by Amanda

Better boat one? …

Caption contributed by Amanda

… Or better boat two?

They pull up to shore. Frankie gets out and starts to help Suzy out, but the shot jumps, and Frankie and Suzy are now chasing each other around the boat. Oh, and the boat has magically grown a sail. This whole movie is like one of those puzzles with two drawings, where you have to spot all the differences between the top one and the bottom one.

After they get done chasing each other, they head onto the sand. And right in the middle of all the beach’s rocks and prickly scrub plants, the love birds have placed a blanket. Suzy implies she can get Frankie’s job back for him by sleeping with Harry. But good ol’ dense Frankie doesn’t see how that would work.

Suzy switches tactics, first talking about Crazy Freefalling Pete dying, then getting all psychotic. She asks Frankie what would happen if they poured acid on someone’s parachute. “Eh-cid?” Frankie asks. “Eh-cid would eat holes in the chute.” Gah! This guy’s delivery is so bad, it makes Richard Kiel look like Orson Welles.

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Amanda Wells

If I was a bad movie, I'd find it much easier to write about myself than I do at present. My main interests outside of really bad movies is playing music. I've played guitar for 15 years, performed before far more people than I'm really comfortable with and am currently having fun listening to my 5 year old son bang away on his new starter drum set. Yes, drummers are so hard to find, I had to resort to making my own. When not playing music, I also like to work in my yard and many gardens, try new recipes (never would have thought that would happen), research my genealogy (I get to be related to the beheaded king and queen of France!) and read history books primarily about natural disasters and personal tales. And when I'm not doing any of that, then I'm spending time with my great family. The first movie I remember going to the theater to see was The Black Stallion which we were late to the beginning of and as we were waiting for it to begin again and rewatch it (is that even legal?) we got dragged away by my dad and sister who insisted we come watch Airplane! with them in the other theater. Oh, and I cried so hard at the end of Oh, Heavenly Dog! that my sister had to call my mom to come pick me up. As a kid, I never had a Big Wheel. I still want one.

Multi-Part Article: The Skydivers (1963)

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  • David Cherson

    Again I feel like a Coleman Francis movie, i.e. come in after the fact (facts in CF films???). But since we are snowed in today I felt it was a good opportunity to watch yet once again The Skydivers albeit MST3K riff version. In fact I could NEVER imagine watching any of the three pieces of you-know-what just sitting listening to the “dialogue”, er excuse me there is very little or none. Coleman believed in skimping on the audio portions of his ‘oeuvres’… But I find out something different with each viewing, in this case re: Marcia Knight your typical local harlot of late ’50’s vintage (but this was made in 1963, still prior to Vietnam). She also had one of the inexplicable roles in the Beast of Yucca Flats, another harlot but disconnected in classic CF style.

    The other piece of tripe was the lead ‘actress’ was named Kevin Casey (?!) Huh? Try finding her anywhere but brief mention on IMDb. I remember those bee hive hair styles from high school days and that was then as well.

    Tony Cardoza is always the one person whom I can sympathize with. For one this was his night job. He was a welder during the day. I hope that the little publicity of his association with Monsieur Francis helped him at least climb up more step, maybe towards B-movie level.

    All in all you best be in an ‘altered state’ before watching this or any of the other two gems, or watching them will send you into one.