Nov 15, 2014
The Pumaman (1980) (part 9 of 10)
Cut to Dead Tony lying face down on a loading dock, and soon Beard and Handlebar Mustache Guy drive up in Kobras’ Rolls Royce. There’s a shot of Vadinho clandestinely keeping close watch from a nearby window.
Beard feels Tony’s neck and finds no pulse, so he calls back to Kobras to let him know that the Pumaman is dead. Beard asks if he should shoot Tony, just to be sure, but Kobras says it must look like “an unfortunate accident”. Um, what? Why? I mean, if he’s in control of all of the heads of state, why does he care if it looks like murder? I mean, didn’t Vadinho already say he controls the police? Didn’t he? Of course, the real reason Beard doesn’t just shoot Tony is because then the movie would be over. And we would be deprived of the very “suspenseful” sequence we’re about to endure.
Kobras says to make sure he’s dead, and Beard double-checks Tony’ pulse. Finally, Beard announces to his sidekick Mustache, “You couldn’t find a corpse more dead than this one!” And if you do… double your money back! Here at Organ Donors R Us, we only have the deadest corpses!