Apr 25, 2019
The Fantastic Four (1993) (part 4 of 7)
A haggard tree looms menacingly on the horizon, bent limbs reminiscent of the gnarled fingers of a retired sweatshop worker. Three ivory chunks of metal and a BBQ enthusiast’s out-of-control grease fire speckle the lush hills of somber countryside. Above, the sky is partly cloudy with a chance of light rain. So begins my section of this recap of Roger Corman’s unreleased train wreck, The Fantastic Four.
Ben Grimm, looking a bit scuffed but otherwise unharmed after the wreck of his spacecraft, appears on a hill, yelling out the names of his crew members. Through the flames of the wreckage, we see his wavy silhouette accompanied by odd Arabian calypso music. His screams get louder and more melodramatic until he hears Reed’s voice in the distance, and follows the sound.
Some distance away, Ben comes upon even more smoldering wreckage. He spots Reed’s outstretched arm coming from beneath a sheet of metal, and helps his friend get to his feet. “Careful,” Reed warns solemnly, “I must be in shock, because I don’t feel any pain.” Ah, Dr. Richards, if only you knew the fantastic abilities coursing through your veins.