May 1, 2018
The Exorcist: Sisters doing it for themselves
Previously on The Exorcist: The Bishop has a giant bug up his butt about the whole casting out the demons thing. Marcus gets excommunicated, but Bennett is secretly helping him.
This week opens with Casey dreaming. You can tell it’s a dream and not a flashback because even before the weird stuff starts, there’s cowboy polka music playing, which no teen would ever tolerate even to be ironic. It’s breakfast time. Angela hands Casey a plate of writhing, slightly cooked baby birds, because birds are a visual motif the show has used before and probably will again. Also, they are yucky.
The Salesman is here by her side too, looking even more disheveled than last time, telling her to just say, “Yesssss”, which sounds like a hiss, but she’s so over him because none of this is what she thought it would be, and maybe she should start dating boys closer to her age. She wakes up strapped to a hospital bed in restraints, looking like Asylum Buffy.
Angela, Henry, and Cat are told that Casey is on a seventy-two hour psychiatric hold to determine if she’s a danger to herself or others. Given what happened on the subway, hasn’t that already been established? Her family can’t see her, but they can hang out. Angela calls Tomas. What happened to the scuzz on the train? Not even mentioned. Police involvement? None, other than getting her on the hold.
Marcus gets himself to the nunnery on Bennett’s list. The sister at the door informs him that Mother Bernadette doesn’t see anyone, but he drops Bennett’s name, and he’s told to go around to the garden.
Tomas shows up at the hospital to tell Angela that the Bishop said no, but he’s going to talk to someone who can help. Tomas is useless, and tiny. Is Father Tomas supposed to be shrinking or is Alfonso Herrera lying about being five foot ten?
Night: Marcus has been waiting in the garden for hours with only his best buddy Sony… the cassette player, for company. He spots a herd of nuns heading through the garden toward the greenhouse. Their leader has fresh scars on her face.
The doctor tells Angela about the burns on Casey’s vagina, which the shrink thinks “may be” self-inflicted. So looks like they’re just going to keep Casey comfortable until they figure this thing out. Granted, this is a TV show about a world with demonic possession. But in any universe I’m acquainted with, the docs would have had to report those burns and somebody would be having a loooong chat with the parents.
The greenhouse is being used as a top secret chapel where the nuns are asking
their pagan goddess Mary, Mother of God to take the demons out of a generic possessed person. Think they bothered asking the Bishop for permission? The sister who answered the door tells Marcus to watch. Mother Bernadette, the one with the scars, goes to the possessed man, who despite being in chains, manages to strike her down. Marcus is about to step forward and defend the little lady, but she waves him off. She’s got this. She gets back up and gives the possessed a firm hug. He’s not exorcised, but he seems calmer.
The next morning, the sister wakes Marcus from the bench where he was sleeping and tells him Bernadette won’t talk to him that day, so he heads out to find the next name on the list. That brings him to the “Movable Deceased” tour bus, where you can see the homes of Chicago’s favorite serial killers. The guide, a blonde dressed in thrift store noir, including a hat and black veil, is doing the talking, and she does not like being interrupted.
Angela is resting in the hospital chapel. They’ve got 36 hours to go, and Henry suggests they go home for a while. He tells her he’s totally onboard with the exorcism after what he saw on the train. Neither wonders about the mutilated slime bucket. Dead? Alive? Castrated? Seriously, wouldn’t you think an incident like that with all those witnesses would have gone viral by now, even if it was dark and people’s cameras stopped recording?
Tomas goes to visit Mrs. Walters. He’s brought little Luis, his nephew (so get your mind out of the gutter) because needs more plot. Mrs. W sends Luis off to the kitchen because he’s Mexican.
Tomas explains how he’s hoping she can arrange for him to meet with the cardinal, because he’d like to “perform a service” for a troubled parishioner and the Bishop said no. She likes his spunk. Little Luis is now roaming the Walters’ massive apartment and hears groaning. He opens a door and sees Mr. Walters hooked up to several monitors. Walters looks like he’s desperately trying to tell Luis something, but he can’t. Luis drops his ice cream sandwich, and heads back to his uncle, whispering, “There’s a scared man in a room.” Out of the mouth of babes! Was Mr. Walters trying to say hello, or did he want to give Luis an important message about how his wife has been replaced by a hell beast?
Tomas apologizes for taking up Mrs. Walters’ time, and gets ready to leave. She reminds him to cash that big fat check she gave him.
At St. Anthony’s, Tomas is wearing glasses for the gravitas. He endorses Mrs. W’s check, but is he really signing away his immortal soul? He hands it over to his assistant, settles down to read his official exorcism textbook, and—surprise!—Jessica walks into his office.
Henry and Angela are back in the hospital after a brief stop home. The doctor is a little cranky, but wouldn’t you be if you’d been working for two days straight? He tells Angela they’re putting in a feeding tube because Casey isn’t retaining food or fluids. Angela says no, and he’s like we can do whatever we want because of
Obamacare the 72 hour hold. Angela gets a quick peek when they open the door, but they won’t let her visit.
Jessica explains to Tomas that her husband texted her for ten minutes by mistake thinking she was his doxy. Ten minutes? How does that happen? Was it really her husband texting, or could it have been… Satan? Tomas invites her to crash at his apartment. He’ll take the couch and she can have his bed. His solitary, single, lonely, celibate, sad bed, because what could possibly go wrong?
Marcus is now hanging in the cozy trailer of Cherry and Lester Rego, eccentric tour guides and ex-academics who were no doubt kicked out of the university because they knew too much. Cherry thinks Marcus is a total bad-ass, especially when he tells her about pulling a gun on Bennett, and they’re both thrilled to meet a genuine exorcist. Lester asks Marcus about the “surge” in demonic activity. Can you say Scooby Gang, because unless these people get killed off, they are totally coming back I pray. Lester explains how ever since Lucifer and his gang got kicked out of heaven, the demons have been roving, “a movable feast” preying on humans, and sometimes things get really bad: as in wars, natural disasters, mayhem, Trump.
Marcus tells them their “conspiracy theories” are bollocks, because he has to use a regionalism in every episode, but those theories sound a lot like the mythology for a new series: The Exorcist‘s version of Buffy‘s demon dimensions with Chicago as the hellmouth. Marcus asks if they know anything about Tatersal Landscaping, which was the logo of the truck he saw the schizophrenic get on. They’ll look into it.
Tomas comes into his bedroom to say goodnight to Jessica, and/or to test his commitment to his vocation. He gets a message from Angela: she’s sent a photo of Casey, and says she’s getting worse. Tomas tells Jessica he’s going to break the rules to help Angela’s family. She asks if he’s thinking of “crossing any other lines”, but fortunately for his immortal soul, the text seems to have snapped him out that.
At the hospital, the Salesman is still being terrible to poor Casey. He sounds a lot like the creep she mutilated on the train. (Whatever happened to that guy?) He looks more messed up every time we see him; burn marks on his suit, dirt on his face. How does that work, exactly? His teeth are rotting, and we can only imagine what his breath must be like, but he still won’t take no for an answer. Now he’s threatening to “bring down a sledgehammer” on everyone she loves. Sound like anyone in the news?
Tomas wakes up on the couch. He goes to his bedroom. Jessica is gone, but she left him a note, just to make sure we know that nothing happened.
Marcus finally gets his meeting with
Yoda Mother Bernadette. She starts with a lame joke, like all the great sages. Then she tells him that the power comes from God not from the collar, and he needs to get back up on the horse. He’s not so sure about their ladylike approach, which didn’t completely do the job from what he saw. She tells him they aren’t done yet, and he should come back that evening to help out. She’s one bossy nun.
Later, he’s wrestling with the possessed while the nuns circle around praying to
Gaia Ishtar Hillary Mary.
He takes the possessed by the throat in his usual macho manner, but then, inspired by the nuns, he hugs him the way Bernadette did and tells him, “You are forgiven. You are redeemed. You are loved.” Marcus is definitely feeling the spirit and talking about himself by that point. These ladies have given him back his mojo. A wind sweeps through, shaking the Gothic chandelier because what greenhouse doesn’t have a chandelier? The demon has left the body, this time without killing the host. Bernadette looks pleased, and Marcus looks radiant.
Angela thinks she’s found a loophole that can get Casey sprung from the hospital sooner.
The Salesman is still stalking Casey. When a nurse comes to take blood, he starts to strangle her by the gold chain with a cross around her neck, even lifting her up off the ground.
Casey finally says yes to keep him from killing the nurse, but then Angela swoops in and grabs Casey’s hand, and we see the Salesman withdrawing with a “Curses, foiled again!” expression, but it looks like he’ll be back.
Angela yells at the doctor about her loophole, and how she’s going to sue them. We see Casey, practically comatose, being wheeled out.
Marcus shows up at Tomas’ place. They’re both ready to get to work. They don’t need permission from no stinking bishop. We watch them get the Rance house ready, which seems to involve padding a room, and strategically placing bottles of holy water while listening to gospel music on Sony. They are the new sheriffs in town, protecting Rancho Rance from the encroaching evil railroad conglomerate.
Before they get started, Tomas asks a question, “Why is this happening now?”, which sounds like a mystery that could take five seasons or so to unravel. Marcus announces, “Let us begin,” and they open a door where Casey is standing in a corner. She runs at them screeching.