The Cast of Characters:
(Keanu Reeves). A dead-eyed alien who’s come here to wipe out humanity. Has second thoughts after watching a hot scientist hug her bratty kid. To be fair, lots of people have been distracted from what they were doing by Jennifer Connelly.
(Jennifer Connelly). An exobiologist, and the only person on the planet who thinks blowing the alien to Kingdom Come should be Plan B. Her apparently unique human compassion saves the rest of us miserable sociopaths from extinction. So… thanks, lady!
(Kathy Bates). The shoot-first Secretary of Defense who’s made out to be the bad guy for the middle third of the movie, even though she’s right about Klaatu’s plans for us. This movie’s Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross
(Jaden Smith). Helen Benson’s surly stepson. Calls her “Helen” at first, setting up the inevitable scene at the end of the movie when he—but no, I couldn’t possibly spoil the surprise here.
(John Cleese). A Really Perceptive Scientist. Helen brings Klaatu to meet him for… some reason.
Welcome to the fifth installment of Razzie Contenders: 2009 Edition! In this special series of mini-recaps, the Agony Booth staff takes a long, unflinching look at the awful movies that got nominated (or should have been nominated) for Razzie Awards in 2009!
Check out the other recaps in this series: The Love Guru by Ed Harris, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale by Ryan Lohner, 10,000 B.C. by Jessica Ritchey, The Hottie & the Nottie by Albert!