The Adventure of the Wrong Santa Claus (1914) (part 1 of 3)

Ah, Christmas. Yuletide. When the yule and the tide rush together, each one yuling and tiding until they finally meet in a fiery explosion, raining down their beautiful holiday messianic Jesus goop.

I do not know a lot about Christmas. It wasn’t extensively covered in my Bar Mitzvah class. But there is one tradition I’ve always cherished: the Patrick Swayze Christmas. Sadly, Patrick Swayze passed away this year. So, instead of relentlessly mocking a Swayze film this year, let’s observe a moment of silence… by relentlessly mocking a silent film instead.

Frankly, I’m kind of psyched to do a silent movie. I mean, if movies with Natalie Portman in them can suck, imagine how bad things must have been 67 years before she was born. We’re talking about a world without Beautiful Girls, without Garden State, without this rap video. It’s a miracle anyone even survived.

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Jordon Davis

B.A. Political Science, SUNY Albany - 1991
Master of Public Administration, University of Georgia - 1993
Juris Doctorate, Emory University - 1996

Admitted:
State of Georgia - 1996
State of New York - 1997

Winner:
Fields Medal (with Laurent Lafforgue and Vladimir Voevodsky) - 1998

Follow Jordon at @LossLeader on Twitter.

Multi-Part Article: The Adventure of the Wrong Santa Claus (1914)

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