Thank You For Visiting CattyBitches.Com

Thank You For Visiting CattyBitches.Com

Kitten, no whip

You laughed when we showed you our kitten with a whip. You sneered at our URL. You bitched that our Peter Maxian background gave you seizures. In short, you were UNHELPFUL, UNHAPPY and UN-NICE-TIME-PEOPLE. That’s okay though. I am pretty much the same way.

But you forgot just one thing: LISA’S FEELINGS. Did it occur to you that she is slaving away over here, writing like a bandit and editing the things and doing all the random scutwork that I pile on her and bearing it stoically when I fire her twice a week, and does she get even one word of thanks? No. You are just like “I do not see any sideboob” and “I was told there would be sideboob” and “I do not like Disqus and I do not like Peter Max and I do not like seizures and I do not like Sydney Leathers and where is my fucking cookie at this free website which is free.” Man, you are kind of the worst!

But then a weird thing happened. You stopped bitching so much? You created Disqus accounts? You came over here (sometimes) even when it wasn’t a story directly linked from TerribleNewsForTerriblePeople.com? Well, we guess we will not have to murder you then.

We’ve got some Stuff planned for the New Year, including Daily Sideboob probably written by some random aged public affairs promotional weirdo in Indiana (how cool is that?), and tellyvision recaps that will actually appear the day after the tellyvision programme airs, even if it kills us. (It will kill us.) Your comrade Mojopo is going to take over the Test Kitchen, because she is always posting her cooking on Facebook, and we are Facebook friends, and they are pretty. Also, more … Things? We are “working” on it, and by “working” we mean “yelling at Lisa.” She Will Work Harder.

So keep coming back. It works if you work it. Other alcoholic stuff here.

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  • TheLifeSilica

    Sideboob was so 2011. Can we get some underboob?

    • Mojopo

      How about underboob with one weird hair that keeps coming back no matter how many times you pluck it?

      • rebecca

        I HATE THAT ONE WEIRD HAIR.

        • glasspusher

          “This one weird hair, discovered by a single mom…”

    • Mahousu

      I pledge to support underboob in any way I can.With my bare hands, if need be.

      • glasspusher

        This is the kind of can-do attitude we need. Please ignore my hands if they’re shaking before doing any supporting.

  • gullywompr

    You’re welcome.

  • Farb

    I hate improvement. It’s over rated. And makeovers and new stuff are all just adjust, adjust, and more adjust. I hate that one day I’ll have to replace the teensy battery in my wrist watch. And the sun keeps coming up and going down like nobody ever taught it anything else, like it couldn’t be bothered to even run along the fence, barking. But, one day you know, you just know, it will! What kinda astronomical entity is that. I ask ya?! It’s all just like Siamese water torture.

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

  • Nixon, etc.

    I am so happy to have been here to make your life happier.Lisa, sorry I didn’t get you anything on your gift list. Maybe you should drop a few hints earlier next year.

  • HabsFan29

    Stuff in the New Year! I like… Stuff.

  • BigRedDog

    HNTP was mentioned on the slog this morning. It made me smile.

    • rebecca

      it was?? God bless em

  • BigRedDog

    I suggest tellyvision recaps of shows that have lots of boobs. Two birds, one stone and all that.

    • glasspusher

      The difference between boobs and TV shows? I’ll always watch the former.

  • BigRedDog

    Trix, I will have you know I cowered in fear at your kitten with a whip.

  • Klem Johansen

    We have the best weirdos here in Indiana.

  • msanthropesmr

    I like it here. You people seem nice.

  • marindenver

    Have I complained ever? No I have not. I LIKE HNTP and look forward to reading it. More teevee recaps is all I ask. (Because I don’t like bad surprises so when I read here that Brody is going to get hanged then when I watch it I’m like “oh well, he’s going to get hanged so don’t start getting attached”). (And MAYBE Project Runway sometime?) Thank you very much and Happy New Year! Hope you are at a fabulous party celebrating – I am too old for that myself.

  • glasspusher

    If you keep writing articles about boobs, I promise to keep coming (so to speak).

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Hey! I didn’t bitch… at least not that much… OK, so maybe a little… not about the Peter Max anyway… But in all fairness Sydney Leathers’ butt is a poor substitute for actual sideboob. And I do try to visit, especially when those slackers over at notveryhappynotsotimepeople.com haven’t put up a new story in awhile (like now, can you believe it? NOT ONE NEW STORY ALL YEAR! Must be a hell of a hangover) Merry Gnu Year!

  • VChild

    Are you heading to CO for some legal weed? If so, do you need a driver?

  • Annie Towne

    I love Lisa, and I’m pretty sure I’ve made that clear but if not, “Lisa, je t’aime!” Also, I have not asked anything be added, nor taken away because I am a wonderful, happy, nice(time) person. Yay me, and yay Leezee.