Terror from the Year 5000 (1958) (part 8 of 8)

We cut back to the guys outside and find that they’ve come across the faceless nurse. Prof asks, “Who do you suppose she is?” and stutters, “There’s no… no…” but never completes the thought. Then he starts singing “Eyes Without a Face” by Billy Idol. Bob somehow guesses it’s the nurse, which inevitably leads to them having one of those “If she’s the nurse, then who’s in the house?” moments and they both hurry back.

Victor, meanwhile, is staring intently at his Electrical Arc Generator as it generates electrical arcs. Claire tries to convince him that he’s been hypnotized, but Victor refuses to listen, saying that he’s got to go to the future. Claire calls him “confused”, prompting Future Woman to start barking at Claire.

Future Woman: It’s you who are confused! Our history clearly records how the women of the twentieth century stood idly by while the atmosphere was contaminated! And the children of the future doomed!

Oh, sure. This movie spends an hour trying to convince me that women are on the same intellectual level as chimpanzees, and now I’m supposed to believe they have some magical atmosphere-cleaning abilities that they just aren’t sharing. What, was radioactive decontamination in one of those “Hints from Heloise” columns or something?

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Future Woman warns Claire that she doesn’t want to “kill again”, and basically admits to killing Old Man Angelo. She’s got an excuse, however: “He surprised me.” Hey, it happens. I mean, it’s just Angelo.

Claire jostles Victor really hard to make sure he heard that, and asks him, “Now what do you think of your angel of mercy?” This leads to Future Woman smacking Claire, and then the two get into a shoving match. Oh, baby. Rowrrr! Hiss hiss!

During the fight, Claire accidentally rips off Future Woman’s mask, revealing her Marlon Brando face underneath. “You’re one of them!” Victor shouts. “One of those freaks!” Well, duh.

Terror from the Year 5000 (1958) (part 8 of 8)

“I coulda had class! I coulda been a contenduh!”

Future Woman reaches for his face while doing the “Eeee! Eeee!” thing. He tells Claire to get back because “she’ll burn you!” Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Future Woman already slap Claire and wrestle with her?

Anyway, Future Woman claws Victor and scratches his face up. For no real reason, she then immediately backs off. Luckily, this makes her an excellent target for when Bob runs in and starts blasting away with the shotgun.

To escape, Future Woman gives one final “Eeee!” and jumps into the Hot Water Heater. Victor then holds the door open behind her [?] for reasons that probably wouldn’t stand up to much scrutiny. Apparently, doing this causes dancing electrical arcs to be superimposed all around the boiler room. Making this all the more obnoxious is when the Prof gets that same damned pained-patronizing expression on his face as he yells at Victor not to do that. Finally, all the lights go out.

Terror from the Year 5000 (1958) (part 8 of 8)

“Oh, God! You double-dipped the chip! That’s like putting your whole mouth right in the dip!”

Bob lights up a lantern as we hear a very bored Prof say, “Dead. Both dead.” Claire, obviously so broken up over her fiancé’s death that she can’t express any emotions with her face, just stares blankly.

According to the Prof, they were both electrocuted when Victor held the Hot Water Heater door open. Claire looks at Dead Future Woman and asks if this is what the future holds for humanity. This prompts Bob to start talking crazy, theorizing that if they could repair the Water Heater, they could help deformed future people by correcting their “hereditary genes”. (As opposed to the genes they didn’t inherit.) Actually, I think the idea of breeding with loads of deformed future women has got Bob all hot and bothered. I mean, just imagine all the deformed future fiancés he could piss off along the way.

The Prof, however, points out that there’s another way. “The future is what we make it!” he says, as pseudo-patriotic music swells around him. “Whether there will be more like her depends on us! On all of us! On mankind! On what we do in the present!” So, in other words, we better beat back those damn Commies before all our kids come out looking like Leon Spinks!

The Prof then turns to Bob and Claire and tells them to go start making him some non-mutated grandchildren. Okay, he doesn’t really say that. Still, you know that’s what’s gonna happen later.

And so, without any further ado, “THE END” abruptly appears over Dead Future Woman’s face and we fade to black.

Multi-Part Article: Terror from the Year 5000 (1958)

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