VIDEO: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “H.A.T.E.”

In his continuing quest for Saturday Morning Glory, Ryan watches Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Not the ‘80s series, but the 2003 version that was more faithful to the original Turtles comics. But as the third season episode “H.A.T.E.” proves, being more faithful isn’t always a good thing. In a story lifted from Vol. 1, Issue 12, the Turtles go up against an inept pseudo-militia group intent on nuking New York City. Meanwhile, the writers accidentally (one assumes) drop in a sitcom plot where April deals with her visiting mother-in-law. Wacky hijinks—and attempted genocide—ensue!

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Ryan Lohner

Ryan lives in Sparta, New Jersey, a quaint little burg without much for kids to do except go to the movies. Thus began a lifelong love affair, as even back then he grew to love examining why a film worked, or didn't. He is a member of the Sigma Tau Delta English Honor Society, and currently studying for a Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. His hobbies include running, piano, and annoying people with that damn lowercase forum user name.

TV Show: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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  • Ed

    God stuff, Ryan. Glad I have a computer actually built this decade sio I can now watch these things in comfort.,

    By the way, nice weaponry there. Remind me never to piss you off.

    • Ed

      That should be goof stuff, darned new keyboard.

      • “Goof?”

        • Ed

          Apparently I am. Can’t spell worth a damn either today.

  • Rob

    Finally, someone else who saw Turtles Forever for what it was.

  • Michael A. Novelli

    Wow, I honestly thought I’d be the first one to make a Daria reference!

    Well done…

  • Monterey Jack

    I never really watched the 2003 series, not through any particular affection for the 80’s version (which is UN. WATCHABLE by today’s standards), but just due to never being able to watch it in chronological order. What I did see I appreciated for being closer to the Eastman/Laird comics, but, like every TV and movie attempt at the characters, it tried too hard to stick in “wacky” stuff to appease the kids.

    • Michael A. Novelli

      The wackiness was always there in the original comics (it is, after-all, about giant turtles fighting people), it’s just that it was done in a sort of Cerebus the Aardvark style, i.e. take all the cliches and do the exact same thing, only more-so, to show how ridiculous it is, with animals as the main characters. The difference being that Dave Sim was mocking Conan, instead of Frank Miller…

    • IV-V-VI

      It’s not surprising that you don’t don’t go into details on why the 80s cartoon is “unwatchable by today’s standards” because I think your lying your ass off, I don’t think you’ve watched one second of that series.

  • Cameron

    The show was Fox, not Nickelodeon.

  • Redjoekido

    You did not do the research very well Ryan. This show aired on FoxBox later 4Kids TV, it was 4Kids who produced this show. Nick would not pick the show up until 2010 so you might want to edit that.

    If you don’t believe me look here:

  • Monterey Jack

    BTW, the acronym is perfectly sound…Humans Against The Extraterrestrials…aka H.A.T.E.

    • Starofjustice

      It’s still needlessly lazy.

    • Michael A. Novelli

      Um, I’m fairly certain that, as a compound hyphenate, “extra-terrestrials” would warrant two letters, especially since integral articles are not normally included in acronyms…

  • Cristiona

    Way to be subtle, show.

  • Eternalkhaos1

    Seeing as you liked the 1980s theme song (and I do as well), You might be surprised that the person who made the song turns out to be Chuck Lorre so this little tidbit that I’ve mentioned is worth… WINNING!!!

    Sorry for that.

  • Owen007

    As someone that enjoyed the 2003 series, I have to say – great review! Yeah, I really didn’t care for this episode at all.

    Oh, and while I may be mistaken, but does anyone here know what the acronym was in the comic story this episode was based on? C.R.A.P..

    • Monterey Jack

      The Comittee for Restoring American Patriotism.

      God, I haven’t read that issue in 20+ years, and I still remember that…

      • Blackdrazon

        That’s nothing. Here in Canada, one of our real political parties tried to rename themselves the “Conservative Reform Alliance.” AKA, the Conservative Reform Alliance Party. They changed it back next day, and don’t even exist now, though sadly not out of sheer embarrassment (actually, their successors are running the country. Sobering thought).

  • MrJoekido1

    Is the any way I can contact Mr. Ryan? I have a feeling he’s still not aware of an small error he made. And his E-mail address does not work

  • Steven Pryor

    I like both shows and Turtles Forever, but I must have missed this episode. And man, it looks like it sucked. And I might get real sai daggers because Raph was my favorite too.

  • Rhnjy

    Saturday Morning Glory is an excellent review for old cartoons. I wish you could put out episodes more frequently.

  • groupthinker1984

    Good review but if you ever have the time, go back and give the Turtles Forever movie another shot. Seriously, I was a fan of the 87 show and was right there with you rolling my eyes when the 2003 Turtles tried to deconstruct their 87 counterparts and indirectly brag about how serious they were, but they come around later on, embracing their more wacky fun-loving brethren and karma comes back to bite them perfectly in the third act. I won’t give it away but I think you’d appreciate it. In spite of being a little off note in their exaggeration of the contrast between their show and the 87 show it really ends up being a celebration of all things Turtle.