Taiwanese Brewery Brings World The Hello Kitty Beer It Didn’t Know It Needed

Taiwanese Brewery Brings World The Hello Kitty Beer It Didn't Know It Needed In a blessing from the world of marketing, Sanrio company has licensed its Hello Kitty character for use by the Taiwan Tsing Beer Co., which will market a line of fruit-flavored, reduced-alcohol beers in Taiwan and in China. Flavors will include peach, lemon-lime, passion fruit, and banana; sadly, the product will not be sold in the U.S., so you will not be able to pick up a six-pack of Hello Kitty birru to lubricate an evening that also includes Hello Kitty condoms and your Hello Kitty vibrator.

The beverage itself is, according to Kotaku’s Eric Jou,

so ridiculously smooth and tasty that one can barely tell they’re drinking beer. It’s almost like drinking fruit juice, even if the cans do say “beer” (?? or pi jiu) … The fruit isn’t a note or a sense in these beverages but instead the overpowering star of it all.”

My cute is so Charm! Happy Times!
The Atlantic’s Jordan Weissmann notes that Chinese women don’t drink nearly as much as men do (and cites a WHO report to note that alcoholism is almost epidemic among Chinese men), and speculates that

it’s reasonable to suspect that beer might have an image problem with some Chinese women. If so, how could a beer company cater to them? A low-alcohol, sweet beverage seems like a good place to start. And why not market it with a familiar cartoon character that’s become a symbol of childlike innocence the world over (which is pretty much the exact opposite of a bunch of men getting sauced)? Sounds pretty canny to me.

Cool! Just as Virginia Slims helped a generation of American women’s lung cancer rates catch up with men’s, Hello Kitty Beer will introduce a vast new female demographic in China to the joys of liver disease!

[Atlantic / Kotaku / Image from Bloomberg Businessweek]

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  • I don’t know what that stuff is, but I know what it isn’t: beer.Ms. Needham (Can I call you Ms. Needham now that you are Snipy-less, or do you have a more preferred moniker?), have you already ordered some?

    • beautifulmutant

      Her name ain’t Snipy. It’s Lisa. Ms. Needham if you’re nasty.

      • actor212

        Oh, we can be very very nasty. We often need spankings.

    • doktorzoom

      Please don’t call me Miss Needham.

      • I know, I know… I got all confuzzled with the hopping back and forth between sites and the you blogging here too now and the generally just not paying attention thing.Won’t happen again, probably.

  • SullivanSt

    Looks like an even better excuse for Virginia cops to go SWATting kids picking up a case of LaCroix after beer kerfew.

  • ZorakHendrix

    If anybody orders Hello Kitty Merlot, I am outta here!

  • Crank Tango

    Today, we are all vomiting pink, lemon-lime flavored “beer.”

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    a six-pack is all it takes to go from Hello Kitty to Grumpy Cat

  • smashedinhat

    This product is a crime against nature.

  • actor212

    Imma just leave this here

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    Move over Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    Coming soon: Hello Kitty Cat Food. Now with 25% more cat.

  • mtn_philosoph

    20 proof or GTFO.