Tagged: the southside serpents

Riverdale: South Side Story

We’re finally back to our favorite small town where big, implausible things happen! Welcome back to Riverdale, everyone! The post-Christmas revelry has worn off and now we’re ready to get back to the dark, twisty, angst-y stuff. And who better…

Riverdale: Unwrapping the hood

Despite the Black Hood’s earlier threat that the “reckoning” is upon Riverdale, the town seems to proceeding with the usual amount of holiday drama, specifically surrounding money. Archie and his dad are selling Christmas trees in the parking lot of…

Riverdale: Death diner for cutie

I have only one thing to say about the townspeople of Riverdale: these hoes ain’t loyal. Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe has been open since the 1950s and it’s the local hangout for kids and adults alike. But you have one little…

Riverdale: Daddy in a coma

“Our story is not over,” begins Jughead’s narration for the season 2 premiere of Riverdale. Hell yeah, it isn’t! Welcome to the town where there’s creepy wig rooms, strange obsessions with maple syrup, dramatic funerals, and an absurd amount…

Riverdale: Baby on Board

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Riverdale, where there’s only one high school and one restaurant but there’s an Uber service that will take you to teen nightclubs. As much as I like ragging on Riverdale and its strange economy, I…

Riverdale: Daddy Lessons

I can’t even make fun of this week’s pretentious narration because we opened with a dream sequence where all the Riverdale characters are dressed like their retro counterparts. Jughead is even wearing his crown hat! But like all dream sequences,…

Riverdale: Cool motive, still illegal

Jughead is upset that the local drive-in, where he works part-time, is closing. Jughead’s narration tries to justify that the drive in theater is needed now more than ever due to the negative atmosphere created by Jason Blossom’s death. Jughead,…