Last time: Spartan and company (including Zachary Lamb, who appears to possess the mutant power of invisibility, which he uses throughout the rest of the film) went down Below to find Simon Phoenix, only to meet Edgar Friendly. Dots were…
Last time on Demolition Man: After having dinner at Taco Bell and thwarting Edgar Friendly’s attempt to steal food for his people, Spartan botched a virtual sex encounter with Lenina. But after playing a hunch, Spartan discovered Cocteau might…
Previously: Simon Phoenix visited a museum (probably for the first time in his life) to get his hands on a gun, and he and John Spartan squared off there. Phoenix escaped and met Cocteau, who—surprise, surprise—is the true villain, having…
Previously: Simon Phoenix was let loose on an unsuspecting 21st century, killing 11 people (I figured out later the 11th would have been the poor bastard he got his overalls from). The police, unequipped to deal with violence, have awakened…
Previously: In 1996, renegade cop on the edge who plays by his own rules John Spartan finally brought down flashy psycho criminal Simon Phoenix, only to be framed for killing 30 bus passengers when Simon’s building went boom. Convicted and…
For the most part, the 1990s weren’t a good time for Sylvester Stallone. After a finishing out the previous decade strong with films like Tango & Cash and Rambo III (the less said about Lock Up, the better), he…
September is typically when the prime moviegoing audience is too busy heading back to school to head to the theater, and the studios schedule their major releases accordingly. This year, it’s all about a killer klown… and not much else.…
It’s early November, which means that much like the big box retailers, it’s time for Hollywood studios to put away the Halloween stuff and start pushing the Christmas crap way too early. So join us as we once again make…
Welcome to the Agony Booth's first ever Bad Superhero Movie Showdown, in which we compare two justifiably reviled superhero movies to definitively answer the question which one fails the most.
The action comedy that's even more relevant now than it was back then.
The Stallone action cheesefest of awesome.
“During Rocky’s training sequence, big rubber sides of beef descend from the rafters, which may be the first time I’ve witnessed a scene transition get its own round of applause.”
'Escape Plan' Is Big Dumb Fun If You're Into That Sort Of Thing
Here's Cecil's take on Judge Dredd, the 1995 movie adapted from a British comic, starring Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Rob Schneider, and Diane Lane.
Josh gives his deranged take on the 1995 Sylvester Stallone movie Judge Dredd, where a British satirical take on fascist American cop movies gets turned into... a fascist American cop movie.
“Every time Assante says the word ‘law’, he goes to a rather guttural region of his throat that generates a line reading that’s simply hysterical.”
“Every time Assante says the word ‘law’, he goes to a rather guttural region of his throat that generates a line reading that’s simply hysterical.”
It's the infamous softcore porno starring Sylvester Stallone that was re-released when he hit it big with Rocky. A New York City couple have sex, engage in light S&M, then invite some of their friends over for an orgy. The end. Features a special guest appearance by our own Cheap-Arse Film Critic!
Juni Cortez enters a virtual reality game where he must stop the evil Toy Maker, played by a confused and over the top Sylvester Stallone... who also plays his own henchmen? Not only that, but there are brief appearances from the likes of Selena Gomez, George Clooney, Salma Hayek, and Elijah Wood. Can the Renegado survive the ridiculous plot and endless parade of awful cameos?
“There’s enough beef in this thing to run six Burger Kings!”
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