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When the original Star Trek tries to imagine life under a female starship captain, the results are 100 times more nightmarish than you can imagine.
“Aaaand it basically looks like a watermelon with a handle. I guess the Slavers took juicing very seriously. ”
“It’s been written that what dates Star Trek: The Next Generation as an ‘80s show more than anything is the presence of a therapist on the bridge. But what does that mean? Does it mean that therapy became chic in the ‘80s, but is going to fade in importance?”
“It is quite likely that [Captain] Kirk is a Republican,” says Sen. Ted Cruz, who claims to be quite the Trekkie. Could he be right??? HNTP examines the evidence.
When the opposition party demands answers on UFOs, the Welsh government responds in a hostile alien language.
“It would seem the very first holodeck episode in the Star Trek franchise also features the very first holodeck malfunction.”
“One wonders why Starfleet’s mission statement wouldn’t be more along the lines of ‘to boldly stay home, mind our own business, and read a good book.’”
Patrick Stewart has something to say about a baker in Northern Ireland who refused to write a pro-gay slogan on a cake depicting an image of Bert and Ernie.
“Five seconds in, and this script and science have already officially parted ways.”
“The four TNG movies had some good ideas, but those were sadly overshadowed by the studio’s desire to turn TNG into something it wasn’t.”
“It would appear Mirror Universe episodes really need at least a couple of the regular universe characters to cross over, to counterbalance all the cartoonish evil on display.”
“And maybe I’m too jaded by Mirror Universe episodes by now, but I’m not at all surprised they blew up the Enterprise, on a show called Enterprise.”
“It looks like the guy who cleans the Enterprise toilets has the week off, so congratulations, Uhura, you are now in charge!”
“Unfortunately, we’re not going to find out how they did the saucer separation trick, or how they made that guy’s head explode in ‘Conspiracy’, or anything else cool that happened in the first season of TNG.”
“Hearing a constant laugh track on the Enterprise-D bridge is distinctly surreal. Someone really should take season two of TNG and add a laugh track just to see if it improves things.”
“I guess with the aqua-shuttle and bass boat, putting Kirk and Spock in speedos was not in the budget this week.”
I Am Spock... And I'm Not the Only One
“As it turns out, ‘The Tholian Web’, one of the stronger episodes of the original series’ third season, was actually a Mirror Universe episode all along. We just didn’t know it until 2005.”
“These days, Trek’s lack of serialization outside of Deep Space Nine is seen as shallow. But it still has much to offer.”
“And this is how a storyline begun in one of the most legendary episodes of the original series goes out in a hail of bad comedy.”