The film (and perhaps the Wachowskis’ directing career) comes to a perfunctory end as we learn that while being ruler of a galactic empire might be nice, it can never compare to cleaning toilets for a living.
Jupiter finally meets the main villain of the film, and it feels like a complete afterthought. But on the plus side, somebody in this movie will win an “award” for his acting.
Jupiter and Titus are about to get married, but to the shock of no one, Titus has sinister motives. Cue “Mrs. Robinson” on the soundtrack as Caine rushes to stop the wedding.
The truth about Premium Abrasax is revealed and it’s exactly what we figured out 30 minutes ago. Also, Titus Abrasax shows his romantic side by trying to get with his mom’s identical twin.
Two writer-directors entrusted with a $175 million budget decide to bring their sci-fi/action film to a dead stop for no good reason. But hey, they got Terry Gilliam to do a cameo!
In which we meet a half-man/half-elephant, and Jupiter confesses her feelings for Caine in the most embarrassingly stupid way possible.
In which we learn the true origins of the human race, as well as Caine Wise’s tragic backstory, which is uncannily similar to a certain legendary bouncer.
“Are there people who were convinced up until this moment that bees are questioning, doubtful liars?”
If you've got an hour to spare, join the Suspect as he takes a look at the final Lord of the Rings film!
Friday in the blurbs
“So working hard for beauty is bad, and you just need to make sure you’re born the epitome of Caucasian flawlessness. Got it.”
The Suspect brings you an epic review of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, a worthy follow-up to The Fellowship of the Ring, and one of the greatest "middle films" of a movie trilogy ever made!
With Silent Hill: Revelation 3D currently in theaters, Cecil takes a look back at the first film, and explains in great detail why it's one of his all-time favorites.
The Suspect begins a trilogy of reviews where he takes a lighthearted look at Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies! First, he takes you blow by blow through 2001's Fellowship of the Ring, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, and Viggo Mortensen.
The kickoff for a trilogy, it stars Andrew Garfield as a journalist who decides to examine a possible connection between the disappearances of three young girls. What he finds is far more sinister than he ever expected. It's a criminally underrated story of corruption, murder, and steamy sex in 1970s West Yorkshire that's quite a gripping tale, assuming you can understand what's being said.
I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn't seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay's commentary, I'm more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.
I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn't seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay's commentary, I'm more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.
I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn't seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay's commentary, I'm more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.
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