Last time: Spartan and company (including Zachary Lamb, who appears to possess the mutant power of invisibility, which he uses throughout the rest of the film) went down Below to find Simon Phoenix, only to meet Edgar Friendly. Dots were…
Last time on Demolition Man: After having dinner at Taco Bell and thwarting Edgar Friendly’s attempt to steal food for his people, Spartan botched a virtual sex encounter with Lenina. But after playing a hunch, Spartan discovered Cocteau might…
Previously: Simon Phoenix visited a museum (probably for the first time in his life) to get his hands on a gun, and he and John Spartan squared off there. Phoenix escaped and met Cocteau, who—surprise, surprise—is the true villain, having…
Previously: Simon Phoenix was let loose on an unsuspecting 21st century, killing 11 people (I figured out later the 11th would have been the poor bastard he got his overalls from). The police, unequipped to deal with violence, have awakened…
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Previously: In 1996, renegade cop on the edge who plays by his own rules John Spartan finally brought down flashy psycho criminal Simon Phoenix, only to be framed for killing 30 bus passengers when Simon’s building went boom. Convicted and…
For the most part, the 1990s weren’t a good time for Sylvester Stallone. After a finishing out the previous decade strong with films like Tango & Cash and Rambo III (the less said about Lock Up, the better), he…
A couple of Fridays ago, the latest reboot of Charlie’s Angels was released, and to no one’s surprise, including director/writer/supporting actor Elizabeth Banks, it bombed. Hard. No one was asking for another Charlie’s Angels and I have no clue how…
For being smack-dab in the middle of blockbuster season, this month gets off to a pretty slow start. Guess everybody assumed Solo: A Star Wars Story would be dominating the box office for at least a little while, huh? Oops.…
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It’s the end of the year, and you know what that means: It’s time once again to look forward to the movies that no one is looking forward to. Some of you might recall I compiled a list like this…
“Instead of being a stage for interpersonal conflict and contrasting approaches to problem-solving, the inhospitable setting becomes a kind of all-powerful God dictating the conditions and restrictions of both story and shooting.”
The action comedy that's even more relevant now than it was back then.
Morning Sideboob: Justin Bieber is No Longer Racist
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Morning Sideboob: Sandra Bullock Gets Felt Up
Morning Sideboob: Sandler Rules the Razzies, Lil Za: Once More With Feeling, and Charlie Is Ever the Gentleman
“Finding myself taking the ‘it’s a great visual experience, the story is secondary to that’ stance this time around vaguely disturbs me.”
If Sandra Bullock And Alfonso Cuaron Do Not Win Oscars For 'Gravity,' Blood Will Run In The Streets
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Mix one part Sandra Bullock, two parts the Dark Side of Makeovers, a couple of bleeding-uterus jokes, and a random quote from The Great Fitness Experiment. Stir well, and bake for 8:41. It's Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous!
What happens when you combine Sandra Bullock, Michael Caine, and William Shatner with pratfalls and lipstick? Well... Miss Congeniality, of course! Which obviously means a discussion on makeover narratives and the Pygmalion myth, with supporting materials provided by Trinny and Susannah and the Apostle Paul. Because, why not?
Ryan reviews Crash, one of the worst movies to ever win the Best Picture Oscar. Brought to you by former Facts of Life writer Paul Haggis, Crash is the movie that dares to say racism is bad, while teaching us all to be better people through laughter, tears, and Sandra Bullock.
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