Last time: Spartan and company (including Zachary Lamb, who appears to possess the mutant power of invisibility, which he uses throughout the rest of the film) went down Below to find Simon Phoenix, only to meet Edgar Friendly. Dots were…
Last time on Demolition Man: After having dinner at Taco Bell and thwarting Edgar Friendly’s attempt to steal food for his people, Spartan botched a virtual sex encounter with Lenina. But after playing a hunch, Spartan discovered Cocteau might…
Previously: Simon Phoenix visited a museum (probably for the first time in his life) to get his hands on a gun, and he and John Spartan squared off there. Phoenix escaped and met Cocteau, who—surprise, surprise—is the true villain, having…
Previously: Simon Phoenix was let loose on an unsuspecting 21st century, killing 11 people (I figured out later the 11th would have been the poor bastard he got his overalls from). The police, unequipped to deal with violence, have awakened…
Previously: In 1996, renegade cop on the edge who plays by his own rules John Spartan finally brought down flashy psycho criminal Simon Phoenix, only to be framed for killing 30 bus passengers when Simon’s building went boom. Convicted and…
For the most part, the 1990s weren’t a good time for Sylvester Stallone. After a finishing out the previous decade strong with films like Tango & Cash and Rambo III (the less said about Lock Up, the better), he…
Welcome to the Agony Booth's first ever Bad Superhero Movie Showdown, in which we compare two justifiably reviled superhero movies to definitively answer the question which one fails the most.
Democrats Save California From Rob Schneider Movies, Hooray!
Renegado teams up with The Wire to try to make sense of Rob Schneider's latest terrible attempt at a sitcom. ¡Rob! (yes, it's written like that) is about an architect who marries into a tightly-knit Mexican-American family, and the worst part about it is they dragged Cheech Marin and Eugenio Derbez into this! That, and it's insufferably racist. So yeah, just like any other sitcom.
Here's Cecil's take on Judge Dredd, the 1995 movie adapted from a British comic, starring Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Rob Schneider, and Diane Lane.
Josh gives his deranged take on the 1995 Sylvester Stallone movie Judge Dredd, where a British satirical take on fascist American cop movies gets turned into... a fascist American cop movie.
“Every time Assante says the word ‘law’, he goes to a rather guttural region of his throat that generates a line reading that’s simply hysterical.”
“Every time Assante says the word ‘law’, he goes to a rather guttural region of his throat that generates a line reading that’s simply hysterical.”
A college student makes a vow of abstinence, and yet still falls prey to a porn producer (Rob Schneider) who plans to put her in his Girls Gone Wild-esque video. Watch as a bunch of no-name actors (including Schneider's daughter, maybe?) go on a road trip to get the incriminating footage back.
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