Buckle your seatbelts, everyone! It’s the season finale of Riverdale and hopefully, we’ll gets answers to the real Archie’s Weird Mysteries that I want solved. At the very least, we should find out if Jughead is really dead after that…
Poor Cheryl has had a rough year. Her twin brother was murdered by her father, her family fortune was temporarily lost when her father was outed as a drug dealer, her mother stuck her in a gay conversion program, she…
Last episode, Betty began to suspect that her father Hal is the Black Hood. It’s a good thing that she’s keeping this information to herself because Archie is out on his vigilante search for the Black Hood. Again.
Archie doesn’t…
Rest in peace, Midge. We hardly knew ye.
I really thought Midge was gonna come out of this alive. I mean, the Black Hood once shot her and her boyfriend at point blank range and she survived without a scratch.…
Turn on the spotlights and raise the curtain, everybody! It’s showtime at Riverdale!
If you remember from last episode, the kids are putting on a production of the musical Carrie. Not sure why they picked Carrie specifically, since…
It’s party time in Riverdale–political party time, that is. This week’s episode focuses on small town politics, in both mayoral and high school elections. But first, we pick up right where last week’s episode left off, with Betty confronting Chick…
Welcome back to Riverdale, everyone! This winter hiatus has been killing me. We’ve still got a murder victim to identify, SoDale gentrification to fight, and burgers to get to Jughead.
Seriously, when was the last time that kid got…
I want a mom like Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper has gone from being one of my least favorite characters (remember all of her petty level rankings in season 1?) to my absolute ride-or-die. Alice is #MomGoals. She makes big IHOP-style…
Apologies for the late recap everyone, but this episode of Riverdale was a bit of a filler one that’s leading up to much more interesting episode next week. This week focuses on Veronica and the Lodge family and all their…
Do the Riverdale writers have a crystal ball or something? The storylines of Riverdale have been oddly timely for the current zeitgeist, despite being written and filmed months beforehand. Nick St. Clair attempting to sexually assault Veronica and Cheryl fits…
We’re finally back to our favorite small town where big, implausible things happen! Welcome back to Riverdale, everyone! The post-Christmas revelry has worn off and now we’re ready to get back to the dark, twisty, angst-y stuff.
And who better…
Despite the Black Hood’s earlier threat that the “reckoning” is upon Riverdale, the town seems to proceeding with the usual amount of holiday drama, specifically surrounding money.
Archie and his dad are selling Christmas trees in the parking lot of…
You know what the best thing to do is when there’s a deranged serial killer running loose in your town? Bangin’. Like, lots of it.
According to Jughead, Archie and Veronica are engaging in “carnal defiance” and having lots of…
This episode breaks from our usual faux-lisophical introductory narrations from Jughead and opens up with a new narrator reading from scroll of text announcing that we will be witness to three “twisted” tales connected to the Black Hood murders. These…
According to Jughead, everyone is wearing a mask—metaphorically speaking, of course. The Black Hood just happens to wear his literally and he’s pretty happy with it. This stands in sharp contrast with Betty’s metaphorical mask, which is quickly unraveling and…
The episode picks up right where we left off, with Betty receiving a call from the Black Hood. He reveals that he was at the town hall meeting, but didn’t hurt anybody… yet. He tells Betty that he wants to…
In real life, if a dumb but well-meaning 16 year old kid posed shirtless with a bunch of his friends bragging about how he was going to take down a local murderer, he would have been laughed out town. In…
Jughead informs us that every fairy tale has essentially the same warning: don’t go into the woods because there’s nothing but trouble there. Examples include Little Red Riding Hood meeting a hungry wolf and Goldilocks finding the three bears’ house.…
I have only one thing to say about the townspeople of Riverdale: these hoes ain’t loyal.
Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe has been open since the 1950s and it’s the local hangout for kids and adults alike. But you have one little…
“Our story is not over,” begins Jughead’s narration for the season 2 premiere of Riverdale. Hell yeah, it isn’t! Welcome to the town where there’s creepy wig rooms, strange obsessions with maple syrup, dramatic funerals, and an absurd amount…
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