Dance Moms is awful. Yes, Abby Lee Miller is the worst. Yes, I know all that drama is scripted. Yes, it’s awful that talented little girls are being exploited by producers. But I really really like Dance Moms, you guys.
Barry sets a trap for Harrison while Joe tries to live Iris’s life for her, which is totally a dick move, but we’re really more worried about the whole Harrison thing, what with him secretly being a supervillain and all.
Wrestling comes to the Marbella! It’s Petra vs. Jane, Xiomara vs. Rogelio, and Rafael vs. Luisa! Get your bets in now!
Hijinks ensue when it looks like an underling forgot to pay the rent. Roger gets ready to fire some ladies. The overlords at McCann have some news. Stan and Peggy bond over an abandoned child. And Don comes up with a plan to save the day!
This week’s Game of Thrones features Arya doing a little housekeeping, Sansa getting engaged again, Tommen getting a whole lot of nookie, Jon Snow getting a little head, Margaery beating Cersei in a verbal smackdown, and a High Septon being quite literally beaten by his religion.
This week on Once, Swan Queen road trips, car chases, kids who change nationalities when they become adults, a heart that gets tossed around like a hot potato, and a baby conceived under the creepiest circumstances ever.
This week on Arrow, Oliver gets a new name and a new job. Oh, and he totally gets laid, too. With Felicity. Plus, not everybody who was dead at the end of last episode is still dead at the end of this one. Eh, comic book TV shows, whatcha gonna do?
Let’s see how some of our favorite TV characters would fare on the world’s most ridiculous, guilty pleasure, summer reality game show . . . shall we?
This week on The Flash: so many secret identities, so little time. The Flash faces off with a villain who can be anyone, and Cisco discovers the true Harrison Wells. Plus, yet another Arrow crossover.
Elizabeth and Paige bond on a trip to see Grandma while Philip bonds with Sandra at EST. Oleg has good news for Stan. Philip gets Martha out of trouble at work, and Ronald Reagan makes a speech.
It’s “Spring Break Week” on Dancing With the Stars, and Team Dance Week to boot! So who gets booted–the bachelor, the diva, the millionaire, or the war hero?
Can Jane’s virginity survive a night of skinny dipping with Raphael? Will Xiomara’s relationship survive kissing another man? Can Petra survive being kidnapped by the not-really-dead Roman? Answers in this week’s Jane the Virgin!
ARROW: Some Deaths Are More Permanent Than Others
MAD MEN: Beautiful People Problems
GAME OF THRONES: How to Lose Friends and Alienate Mereeneese
ONCE UPON A TIME: Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce Woof?
DANCING WITH THE STARS: You Are Contractually Obligated to LOVE EVERY DISNEY MOVIE EVER!
THE FLASH: Oh, no, not the bees! Not the beeeeeeeeees!