It is most definitely “No more Ms. Nice Mother of Dragons” this week, as Dany pours a heaping helping of hellfire mixed with Sweet Revenge on an unsuspecting Lannister army. (Meanwhile, somewhere in Heaven,...
So, it was not a particularly stellar week for Dany and Team Good Guys in the battle for the Iron Throne. For the second week in a row, the Mother of Dragons has...
It may be 85 degrees and balmy where you live, but over in Westeros, Winter has returned with a vengeance… That’s right, folks. Game of Thrones is back for its penultimate shortened season. And if...
Previously on Ballistic: Ecks v. Sever: Lucy Liu destroyed some innocent cars and I destroyed a serious relationship. Since Lucy Liu just… saved? …re-kidnapped? …your-guess-here? …a six year-old boy, I would expect the movie...
It was recently argued that nobody would read a detailed recap of a movie when they could just as easily pull it up on streaming and watch it themselves. To that, I say, “Challenge...
There were so many potions used this week on Once to clean up certain dangling plot items, it was hard to keep track of them all. Let’s see, we had: sleeping curse potion, memory...
It’s the end of this show as we know it, folks. The biggest of Big Bads has finally arrived to battle the Save-iest(?) of Saviors! But first, we’ve got some CGI spiders to mutilate,...
This week on Once, Storybrooke finally gets a new bar! Snow White gets wasted! Emma becomes that cliché lady who pours her heart out to a bartender! Aladdin and Jasmine learn that sometimes all...
This week on Once, we finally found out who murdered Prince Charming’s dad, and it actually wasn’t who you thought it would be… until it ended up being exactly who you thought it would...
Welcome back to Storybrooke, folks! It’s a magical, mystical land where characters leave, die, and return from the dead, age (or don’t) whenever they feel like, a place from which Continuity and Logic escaped...
Last week on Once, while I was in Spain, the Evil Queen cast a curse on Snow White and Prince Charming, so that they could never be awake at the same time. Specifically, every…
This week on Once, Aladdin lets Jasmine check out his Man Cave. Hook gets crafty with a pair of Emma’s scissors. The Evil Queen and the Wicked Witch get mani/pedis from Goldilocks. And a popular fan theory is swiftly debunked.
This week on Once: The Beast tries to win back Belle’s heart by incarcerating her. (Hey, it worked last time!) Snow White learns that she’s a terrible teacher, when the subject is anything other than making a birdhouse. The Evil Queen’s kryptonite is finally revealed. And yet another sort-of villain is given a hasty partial redemption arc before meeting his untimely demise.
This week on Once, Cinderella goes POSTAL… for a few seconds. Also this week, Hook and Emma get baby fever. Rumpel makes Belle a mix tape. And the Evil Queen comes up with a nefarious scheme… to perfect her adopted son’s bad posture.
This week on Once, a sex-deprived Evil Queen hits on everyone from a newborn baby to herself. Also, the writers kill another sexy male guest star because, apparently, they hate me.
Time to head off on new adventures, battle evil villains, make questionable fashion and hair choices, and egregiously bastardize even more increasingly obscure bedtime stories from your youth.
This finale was like my jeans after Thanksgiving dinner, bursting at the seams with good stuff (and not so good stuff), but super satisfying. Long-held theories confirmed? Sure! The demise of people you hated? Check! Creepy kids? Sure! Lyanna Mormont proving she’s cooler than everyone else on the show? Yup!
We’ve been waiting all season for this one. Ramsey DIES! Sansa gets REVENGE! The Starks retake Winterfell! Davos finds a TOY! Dany burns some boats and gets hit on by a girl! Everybody gets their just desserts in GOT’s bloodiest hour to date, except me, because I lost my appetite.
This week on GOT, Arya finally quits her job at Burgerless White Castle, Tyrion reveals his idea for a spinoff series, Tommen screws his mother (but not literally, because only her brother does that now), everybody gossips about how hot Jamie Lannister is, and all the best deaths happen off-screen.
The feds capture an illegal, but will his insides turn to mush before he talks? Someone is looking for Philip. Oleg makes a decision that breaks Tatiana’s heart. Arkday gets some bad news. And Paige makes out with Matt.
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