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In which we learn the true origins of the human race, as well as Caine Wise’s tragic backstory, which is uncannily similar to a certain legendary bouncer.
“Are there people who were convinced up until this moment that bees are questioning, doubtful liars?”
“Caine’s just surfing the deferential equation slopes, broham!”
“Was this dialogue written by humans?”
“While it may not be based on an existing property, there’s nothing the slightest bit ‘original’ about this movie’s plot.”
“Based on the critical reception for this movie, and how utterly unoriginal and forgettable it is, I would be appalled, aghast, and amazed if Fox didn’t finally surrender the rights back to its rightful owners.”
“Bay simply ramps up the pace and explosion count from prior entries and layers on the Dinobots like so much icing on a shit cake.”
“Yet, as a person, I like Jamie Dornan more for not being able to be the twat waffle that Christian is.”
“This film bears all the hallmarks of a perfectly serviceable ‘toon franchise being bled of all its charm by the same man still milking the Transformers for all they’re worth.”
A brief editorial about the recent Ninja Turtles film, and why you should just give it a freaking break, already!
Time to roll out and watch explosions, stereotypes, and awkward bathroom humor galore!
In this follow-up to the super-smash hit, the Fear Fan encounters unusual townsfolk, a burglar alarm that frankly could be worse, a thoroughly confused owl, and the cosmetic magic of Wicca.
A new Transformers movie has come out, and Mr. Mendo very passionately has no idea what to make of it!
“I’m not sure that’s how evolution works, though it’s disheartening to see that Shyamalan thought so much of his silly ‘plants killing humans’ premise of The Happening that he reuses it here.”
Mendo takes on last year's controversial flop, which recently joined the hallowed ranks of films that have been nominated for both Razzies and Oscars. Also, there's some stuff about MAGFest at the beginning, and a bunch of absurd silliness scattered throughout that makes very little sense. In retrospect, Mendo may not have been the best person to tackle this film, but tackle it he shall!
Solkir reviews a movie that hates everyone and everything. And... what's this? A new host for the Graphic Novel Picture Show has suddenly appeared!
Cecil reviews one of his most requested films! Howard the Duck is one of the most notorious flops in cinema history, but in Cecil's opinion, it doesn't deserve its reputation, and is incredibly unique and massively entertaining.
“Trust me, this is not a movie where the time simply flies by; you feel every last one of those 219 minutes.”
Cecil takes an in-depth look at the hype surrounding the original Blair Witch Project, which then leads into a review of its much misunderstood sequel. Both films are great in their own way, but unfortunately some studio meddling severely messed up Blair Witch 2. This is another episode in Cecil's "Exploring" series, which is a serious look at certain films that deserve more recognition.
“Joel refers to Poison Ivy as a ‘beautiful, sexy’ version of the Unabomber. Never really thought of it that way, to be honest. Never gotten that drunk or stoned.”