Patrons get an ad-free experience and full access to our archives. Support the Agony Booth for as little as $1/month!
Cecil takes a look at the MST3k favorite insane Christmas movie from 1959, Santa Claus, directed by René Cardona.
The movie does take place in 2021; it’s not too late to start making jump suits and boots a thing. And plastic plaid jackets. Can’t forget those.
When we last left Bill and Clementine, Lithuania suffered a major setback in their plot to annex the Moon, but it left the Moon Bug shot to hell. Bill opted to use the “bugdozer” instead, but it only has enough charge for a 150-mile trip, and it’s 200 miles to Farside Five. Fortunately, the bugdozer is built to go over mountains, so it’s time to find a shortcut. The pair head out...
So it turns out that modern firearms can fire in a vacuum; gunpowder contains its own oxidizer, so it doesn’t require an atmosphere. Special thanks to reader Greenhornet for the info, and for not making fun of my ignorance; class is always appreciated. Of course, that means ditching 500 words of guns-not-being-able-to-fire-in-a-vacuum jokes...
Moon Zero Two comes in for a landing outside Farside Five. Oh man, I’m sooooo looking forward to this. I hope Farside Five has lots of strips with dogs, those are the funniest.
When we last left our heroes (and at this point, I’m really stretching the definition of that word; seriously, Bill is a bit of a dick and Kaminski is little more than drunken comic relief, albeit his legal acumen and/or ability to baffle with bullshit has come in handy twice)...
Hello, and welcome back to my Moon Zero Two extended recap. In case you’re new to the Booth, you can catch up by checking out the links to the first four parts here, here, here...
“Should Bill be drinking before heading into space? I don’t think that suit has a catheter, and his ship didn’t look big enough to have a toilet. Guess it’d better be a short trip.”
“I’d say the powers that be are trying to collectively piss off an entire region of planet Earth, but I get the feeling everybody gets offended equally here, and it’s just Latin America’s turn.”
“Men’s-only locker room, casual misogyny when it comes to humor, assumptions that women are only interested in material goods. Glad to see the future hasn’t changed, 1969.”
“Honestly, after the opening credits, I was expecting a lot less subtlety both in plot and visuals, like everyone would be walking around wearing aluminum cowboy hats or something.”
“Needless to say, it fails to match the grandeur of that time Elmer Fudd played the giant in a vain, desperate attempt to avoid typecasting.”
“At one point during the riffing, one of the guys remarks that the movie looks like it was edited in a Vitamix, and that’s pretty accurate.”
Classic MST3K coming to PBS?
RiffTrax returning to TV, plus a free MST3K movie right here on the ol' interwebs
RiffTrax contributor talks with HNTP (that's us!) about taking on Godzilla in theaters this Thursday
New 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' Is Not 'MST3K,' Does Not Even Have Robots
Thanksgiving Just Wouldn't Be Turkey Day Without A Big Helping Of MST3K
It's Halloween, and per the Renegado's made-up tradition, it's time to talk about everyone's favorite lucha libre superhero, El Santo! This time, he tackles Santo vs. Las Mujeres Vampiro, which would later be dubbed into English, retitled Samson vs. The Vampire Women, and mocked mercilessly on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Featuring cameos from all your favorite Agony Booth contributors, and the Blue Demon!
Melting Astronauts! Bad detective work! Crackers!