Another new year and another January are upon us, and I think by now we all know what that means. Here to predict which of these (mostly long-delayed) films will be HITs (unlikely) and which will BOMB are Thomas…
A couple of Fridays ago, the latest reboot of Charlie’s Angels was released, and to no one’s surprise, including director/writer/supporting actor Elizabeth Banks, it bombed. Hard. No one was asking for another Charlie’s Angels and I have no clue how…
It’s almost November, that time of year reserved for films that are a bit too small-scale to qualify as summer blockbusters, but not good enough for the big holiday and awards season. Here to judge the box office potential of…
It often happens that Hollywood will release two movies within months of each other that have seemingly identical premises. Have you ever seen this happen and wondered, “Did there really need to be two of these?” Us too! Hence our…
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“It’s a real shame, because if she had found a role in a better franchise to finally launch her into A-list status, those very traits that people hate about her now might have been her most endearing qualities to many of those same people.”
“While it’s obvious a lot of thought was put into the teleportation effects, and they’re pretty great when they actually happen, the script itself seems like it could have used a few more revisions.”
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“After generations of helpless princesses, finally we’re getting somewhere. Even if we’re getting there with Kristen Stewart.”
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Despite her lackluster performances in the Twilight movies, Full of Questions thinks that Kristen Stewart is a good actress. To help explain why, she reviews Speak, a movie she saw way before she knew about Twilight, where Stewart plays a high school student who becomes mute after after a traumatic incident.
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It's the first video of Sofie's Twilight Month (which will probably now last into April) as she reviews the final Twilight film, Breaking Dawn: Part 2. It's the end of a saga... Yeah, a saga, sure.
The vampires are back, and more sparkly than ever. Will Bella be able to get over Edward? Will Jacob give up shirts altogether? Do you even care? Il Neige sure doesn't, but that's not gonna stop him from sitting through this two-hour mess of a sequel.
Count Jackula and Horror Guru go on a killing spree due to the last entry of the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn: Part 2, starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner.
Stephenie Meyer's novel gets split into two movies to extract an additional billion dollars from Twi-hards who line up for these things no matter how tedious or repulsive they get. And this one is certainly repulsive, as Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire baby who treats her womb like a bouncy castle, Edward performs a Cesarean with his teeth, and Jacob embarks on an 18 year quest to groom his future wife.
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UPDATED Nov. 7, 2012 with commentary from Sofie!
Sofie revisits the movie that started a billion-dollar sparkly vampire franchise, 2008’s Twilight! Join her as she relives those first magical moments when codependency true love blossomed between Edward and Bella!strong
Together with the Porn Critic, Sofie witnesses such exciting things as... a marriage! And a pregnancy! And pedophilia! Oh, Twilight, what will you come up with next?
Edward decides his kind is too dangerous to be around Bella, so he goes into contrived self-exile, leaving Bella to screech like a maniac for months before finally finding comfort in hot werewolf Jacob. Alas, Sofie's endless mocking of the movie earns her the wrath of Pia (played by Sofie Liv), a scantily-clad airhead who breaks into Sofie's house to share a love of all things Twilight!
“Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”
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