Tagged: jughead and betty investigate

Riverdale: A Chorus Line Carrie-s on

Turn on the spotlights and raise the curtain, everybody! It’s showtime at Riverdale! If you remember from last episode, the kids are putting on a production of the musical Carrie. Not sure why they picked Carrie specifically, since…

Riverdale: Blood Ties

Now that Mayor McCoy has stepped down, Riverdale needs a new mayor. A special election is coming up and the Lodges know the perfect candidate: Fred Andrews. He’s a life-long Riverdale resident, a small business owner, and got shot by…

Riverdale: Confirm or deny

Apologies for the late recap everyone, but this episode of Riverdale was a bit of a filler one that’s leading up to much more interesting episode next week. This week focuses on Veronica and the Lodge family and all their…

Riverdale: Stripping it all away

You know what the best thing to do is when there’s a deranged serial killer running loose in your town? Bangin’. Like, lots of it. According to Jughead, Archie and Veronica are engaging in “carnal defiance” and having lots of…

Riverdale: Daddy in a coma

“Our story is not over,” begins Jughead’s narration for the season 2 premiere of Riverdale. Hell yeah, it isn’t! Welcome to the town where there’s creepy wig rooms, strange obsessions with maple syrup, dramatic funerals, and an absurd amount…

Riverdale: Baby on Board

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Riverdale, where there’s only one high school and one restaurant but there’s an Uber service that will take you to teen nightclubs. As much as I like ragging on Riverdale and its strange economy, I…

Riverdale: Daddy Lessons

I can’t even make fun of this week’s pretentious narration because we opened with a dream sequence where all the Riverdale characters are dressed like their retro counterparts. Jughead is even wearing his crown hat! But like all dream sequences,…

Riverdale: Who's a rock star? I am!

Jughead tells us that fear is the most basic human emotion. You know what’s basic? These stupid narrations. Part of what keeps me from taking this show seriously is Jughead’s wannabe Truman Capote narrations. He doesn’t even have a good…

Riverdale: Four Subplots and a Funeral

I almost entitled this recap “Funeral Flowers in the Attic” because we got heavy really heavy on the Blossom family and their campy, possibly incestuous ways. They live in a Gothic mansion called “Thornhill” and the Blossom women appear to…