Tagged: hermione is not ride or die

Riverdale: Lil' Crime Stoppers

Jughead informs us that every fairy tale has essentially the same warning: don’t go into the woods because there’s nothing but trouble there. Examples include Little Red Riding Hood meeting a hungry wolf and Goldilocks finding the three bears’ house.…

Riverdale: Daddy Lessons

I can’t even make fun of this week’s pretentious narration because we opened with a dream sequence where all the Riverdale characters are dressed like their retro counterparts. Jughead is even wearing his crown hat! But like all dream sequences,…

Riverdale: Who's a rock star? I am!

Jughead tells us that fear is the most basic human emotion. You know what’s basic? These stupid narrations. Part of what keeps me from taking this show seriously is Jughead’s wannabe Truman Capote narrations. He doesn’t even have a good…