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Now you’ve really done it, Night King! I stuck up for you when people said bad things. I thought you were just “misunderstood.” I was digging your style, your cool hand gestures, the magical charisma you had. Whenever you entered…
This week, Bran fast forwards Warg DVR to reunite with a relative; Arya gives acting notes to a porn star; we meet Sam’s dad Archie Bunker; Tommen becomes the poster child for incest baby brain damage; and Dany gives her pregame speech while on a dragon, because walking is for pussies.
You know what's hard? Being a hero on a Show About Heroes. Why? Because every time you try to do something heroic, there are always at least ten other people lining up to do it first.
This week on Game of Thrones, the series’ war on weddings with poor Sansa Stark the latest victim. Also, Arya gets a promotion, Margaery gets a demotion, Bronn and Jamie play dress-up, and Tyrion and Jorah make some new friends with benefits, but, perhaps, not the kind of benefits they were hoping for.
GALAVANT RECAP: Xanax Makes Everything Better (S1:E5-6)
ONCE UPON A TIME RECAP: The Firestarter (S4:E7)