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“A lot of the dialogue seemed to be entirely forced, as if the cast was stuck in class and the teacher was making them read aloud.”
In Baz Luhrmann's Pearl Harbor, Nicole Kidman is a British aristocrat who inherits a cattle ranch in pre-World War II Australia, and Hugh Jackman is the rancher who helps her drive her cattle across the outback. Spoiler alert: They fall in love. Also, they adopt a half-white/half-Aboriginal boy who can do magic, apparently, and arrive just in time to be caught in a Japanese sneak attack.
“Stan returns from the dead with a whole new manly musical: Moulin Rouge, the Orphean tale of a young chump and his sexy lady of the evening. Does this classic love story have what it takes to win Stan over? Can Stan resist the charms of adult contemporary songs sung by beautiful actors and the guy from Harry Potter 6? Does Stan feel like an idiot writing these things in the third person? The answer to all these questions—save the last—can be found inside the video thing below, and all it takes is one click of your mouse!”