Well, we got through Suicide Squad. If you just started reading this recap here, I’ll let Superman sum the movie up for you: But despite Suicide Squad’s banal ugliness, its addled editing, its incoherent...
A while ago on Suicide Squad: The most useful member of the team found his cojones, only to sacrifice them (and everything else) to kill Enchantress’s brother “Chester”, whose real name I never heard even...
Antecedently on Suicide Squad: The chips are down for our plucky band of felons. Waller’s been kidnapped and mind-probed. Joker’s escape attempt went awry; he got in a helicopter crash *snicker* and he’s *snort*...
Heretofore on Suicide Squad: Our titular Squad began their first big assignment: to travel to Gotham Central Star National Fawcett Coast Keystone Gorilla Midway City and rescue an unidentified person from a brother/sister duo...
Erstwhile on Suicide Squad: Amanda Waller’s cunning plan to engineer a romance between an ultra-powerful witch and the single person guarding her somehow ran into problems. Enchantress slipped her leash and went rogue, releasing...
Precedingly on Suicide Squad: Waller’s getting the band together. Harley Quinn’s pimp is coming to her rescue. Enchantress is off the leash and up to no good. Enchantress teleports by wrapping her cloud of...
Previously on Suicide Squad: Government stooge (and three-time Detective Wyms Cosplay Contest runner-up) Amanda Waller wanted to protect America from a hypothetical terrorist threat by a Superman-type figure. To that end, she assembled a...
Last time on Suicide Squad: The Wall got an idea. An awful idea. The Wall got a wonderful, awful idea. She’s smiling because, with Superman dead, it’s the perfect time to pitch this wonderful,...
The DC Expanded Universe: four cursed words if ever there were any. The twelve hours that comprise the DCEU represent such a pathetically inept wall-to-wall pooch-screw that dunking on the franchise at this point...
It’s the end of the year, and you know what that means: It’s time once again to look forward to the movies that no one is looking forward to. Some of you might recall...
In the ever-escalating competition for the hearts and minds of fanboys, the summer blockbuster season has now extended well into the winter. First, Disney decided that Star Wars needed to be an annual Christmas...
Last time on Hex Mix: A mortally wounded Jonah Hex somehow rode his horse two-thirds of the distance across the United States and somehow found his friendly neighborhood Native Americans, who somehow cured him of...
Welcome to November! It’s officially the holiday season and the studios are now bringing out their A-game in terms of star-studded special effects extravaganzas. Once again, we at the Agony Booth are here to...
Previously on Hex, Vexed by Rednecks, Bisects Necks: Turnbull has built a gun big enough to shoot the whole country in the face. Hex resurrected Turnbull’s son—dead at Hex’s hands—to ask where Turnbull was so he could...
Previously on Hex Collects Checks: Bounty hunter and part time medium Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) had to find his old commanding officer/fellow Mustache Club member Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) in order to prevent him and...
Last time on Hex Wrecks the Cineplex: Disfigured ex-Confederate bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) narrowly escaped an extremely dumb trap laid by crooked lawmen. He retired to his favorite watering hole for a spot...
Summer is here and with it comes sun and laughter, unless you have that rare sun allergy and you’re kind of depressed about it. But also movies! Summer is traditionally the time for the...
There was a time when a mega-expensive turd like Batman v Superman would have been soul-crushing for comic book fans. Back then, superhero movies were rare and wondrous things. When one sucked, it killed...
Maybe I’m being too generous, but I think in light of the context that Suicide Squad was made in, it did the best it could with what it had, but really, it was capable of so much more.
“It’s amazing that a 150-minute film has such a flat and underdeveloped story. It really feels like a rush job, or that it’s a film based on cheap fan-service, or made by a committee.”
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