Last episode, Betty began to suspect that her father Hal is the Black Hood. It’s a good thing that she’s keeping this information to herself because Archie is out on his vigilante search for the Black Hood. Again.
Archie doesn’t…
Welcome back to Riverdale, everyone! This winter hiatus has been killing me. We’ve still got a murder victim to identify, SoDale gentrification to fight, and burgers to get to Jughead.
Seriously, when was the last time that kid got…
I want a mom like Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper has gone from being one of my least favorite characters (remember all of her petty level rankings in season 1?) to my absolute ride-or-die. Alice is #MomGoals. She makes big IHOP-style…
This episode breaks from our usual faux-lisophical introductory narrations from Jughead and opens up with a new narrator reading from scroll of text announcing that we will be witness to three “twisted” tales connected to the Black Hood murders. These…
According to Jughead, everyone is wearing a mask—metaphorically speaking, of course. The Black Hood just happens to wear his literally and he’s pretty happy with it. This stands in sharp contrast with Betty’s metaphorical mask, which is quickly unraveling and…
Jughead informs us that every fairy tale has essentially the same warning: don’t go into the woods because there’s nothing but trouble there. Examples include Little Red Riding Hood meeting a hungry wolf and Goldilocks finding the three bears’ house.…
I have only one thing to say about the townspeople of Riverdale: these hoes ain’t loyal.
Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe has been open since the 1950s and it’s the local hangout for kids and adults alike. But you have one little…
“Our story is not over,” begins Jughead’s narration for the season 2 premiere of Riverdale. Hell yeah, it isn’t! Welcome to the town where there’s creepy wig rooms, strange obsessions with maple syrup, dramatic funerals, and an absurd amount…
As ridiculous as it sounds, the town of Riverdale was founded on the Blossom’s sweet, sweet maple syrup business. Everyone consumes Blossom maple syrup, even the Coopers. I was hoping there would be a shot of Alice Cooper using Aunt…
I can’t even make fun of this week’s pretentious narration because we opened with a dream sequence where all the Riverdale characters are dressed like their retro counterparts. Jughead is even wearing his crown hat!
But like all dream sequences,…
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