Last time: Jehnna retrieved the horn, which turned out to be in possession of another faction of Dagoth worshipers. Bombaata escaped with the princess and the horn, leaving the others in the dust with the knowledge that when Taramis gets…
Last time: Bombaata’s boys blew it when they tried to kidnap the princess, Conan got his drink on, the gang found a dungeon to plunder, and against all odds Tracey Walter made me like Malak. Let’s see if my hatred…
Last time: Conan fought a dude wearing an ugly rubber mask and smashed a bunch of mirrors to defeat him. He turned back into Thoth Amon and he chose wizardcide rather than be captured. The princess retrieved the hot rock…
Last time: Conan and company began their quest, picking up new members Zula (okay, I’m calling Grace Jones by her character name now) and Mako (still calling him Mako). But the team hit a snag when the sorcerer Thoth Amon…
Last time: Conan and (sigh) Malak, professional thieves, were tracked down by Queen Taramis, who had a job for the former and pretty much pretended the other didn’t exist. If Conan undertakes the quest to bring her niece…
It’s safe to say that Conan the Barbarian was and is one of my favorite movies from my youth. Arnold seemed like a larger than life demi-god with that inhuman physique of his, the action was the most violent I…
When we last left our band, they abducted the princess but Valeria paid with her life. And now with Thulsa Doom on his way to reclaim what is his, Conan and Subotai must prepare for the fight of their lives!…
Last time, Conan attempted to stealth his way through a level and got caught, tortured, and left for dead. His friends saved him, but at what cost?
Conan practices the katas his masters in the East had taught him, seemingly…
When we last saw our hero, he had left his friends Subotai and Valeria behind to pursue his path of vengeance against Thulsa Doom. After a considerable ride, he came across pilgrims traveling to Doom’s “mountain of power”, as well…
When we last left our (ahem) heroes, Conan and Subotai had met a new friend, a woman (played by Sandahl Bergman). Whose name is never, ever stated in the movie. She’s Valeria, by the way, and yes, for convenience’s sake…
When we last left our favorite (and apparently last) Cimmerian, he had gone from boy to man, and from pushing a wheel to dealing death to the roar of the crowd. We open now with him being “taken to the…
There are those who trash the United States, but for me I think it’s a wonderful place. Where else can an Austrian body builder become one of the most iconic personalities in the world, having an impressive Hollywood career, marrying…
It’s almost November, that time of year reserved for films that are a bit too small-scale to qualify as summer blockbusters, but not good enough for the big holiday and awards season. Here to judge the box office potential of…
Before he began his new career as Trump’s mouthpiece, Kevin Sorbo was actually beloved for starring in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. Naturally, like most actors who hit it big on TV, there were hopes that this stardom would be…
The teaser trailer for Terminator: Dark Fate, the sixth movie in the Terminator franchise, dropped last week, and uh… it’s pretty wild:
Before this dropped, we knew a total of two things about the movie: one, it was going to…
Like the Alien series, the first two entries in the Terminator series are embraced as classic movies. The 1984 original was a nerve-jolting thriller whose success is all the more remarkable when you consider that its writer-director, James Cameron, only…
Metafiction in TV and movies is a technique or style that’s getting a lot of attention these days. Whether writers feel comfortable going meta due to audiences demanding increasingly sophisticated material, or due to the way that new forms of…
Zapping mice in the brain with lasers isn’t just for fun anymore.
The year is 2017 and everything has pretty much gone down the crapper: the world economy is in tatters, food and oil are in ever-decreasing supply, and the United States of America, once a shining beacon of freedom to the…
Expectations are sky-high for this weekend’s debut of Wonder Woman, the very first female-led superhero movie to premiere since the era of cinematic universes kicked off roughly ten years ago. And if it proves to be a hit, it’ll…
Latest Comments