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Tagged: archie is dumb

· by Susan Velazquez · May 24, 2018

Riverdale: It's not over yet

Buckle your seatbelts, everyone! It’s the season finale of Riverdale and hopefully, we’ll gets answers to the real Archie’s Weird Mysteries that I want solved. At the very least, we should find out if Jughead is really dead after that…

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· by Susan Velazquez · Apr 29, 2018

Riverdale: Indecent proposals and truths

Rest in peace, Midge. We hardly knew ye. I really thought Midge was gonna come out of this alive. I mean, the Black Hood once shot her and her boyfriend at point blank range and she survived without a scratch.…

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· by Susan Velazquez · Feb 7, 2018

Riverdale: The family that slays together, stays together

I want a mom like Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper has gone from being one of my least favorite characters (remember all of her petty level rankings in season 1?) to my absolute ride-or-die. Alice is #MomGoals. She makes big IHOP-style…

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· by Susan Velazquez · Jan 18, 2018

Riverdale: South Side Story

We’re finally back to our favorite small town where big, implausible things happen! Welcome back to Riverdale, everyone! The post-Christmas revelry has worn off and now we’re ready to get back to the dark, twisty, angst-y stuff. And who better…

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· by Susan Velazquez · Nov 1, 2017

Riverdale: Let's get ready to rumble!

In real life, if a dumb but well-meaning 16 year old kid posed shirtless with a bunch of his friends bragging about how he was going to take down a local murderer, he would have been laughed out town. In…

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· by Susan Velazquez · Oct 26, 2017

Riverdale: Lil' Crime Stoppers

Jughead informs us that every fairy tale has essentially the same warning: don’t go into the woods because there’s nothing but trouble there. Examples include Little Red Riding Hood meeting a hungry wolf and Goldilocks finding the three bears’ house.…

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· by Susan Velazquez · Apr 7, 2017

Riverdale: Drink that maple syrup Kool-Aid

As ridiculous as it sounds, the town of Riverdale was founded on the Blossom’s sweet, sweet maple syrup business. Everyone consumes Blossom maple syrup, even the Coopers. I was hoping there would be a shot of Alice Cooper using Aunt…

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· by Susan Velazquez · Mar 30, 2017

Riverdale: Baby on Board

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Riverdale, where there’s only one high school and one restaurant but there’s an Uber service that will take you to teen nightclubs. As much as I like ragging on Riverdale and its strange economy, I…

Tagged: archie is dumb

Riverdale: It's not over yet

Riverdale: Indecent proposals and truths

Riverdale: The family that slays together, stays together

Riverdale: South Side Story

Riverdale: Let's get ready to rumble!

Riverdale: Lil' Crime Stoppers

Riverdale: Drink that maple syrup Kool-Aid

Riverdale: Baby on Board

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