Riverdale: It's not over yet
Buckle your seatbelts, everyone! It’s the season finale of Riverdale and hopefully, we’ll gets answers to the real Archie’s Weird Mysteries that I want solved. At the very least, we should find out if Jughead is...
Tagged: archie is dumb
Riverdale: Indecent proposals and truths
Rest in peace, Midge. We hardly knew ye. I really thought Midge was gonna come out of this alive. I mean, the Black Hood once shot her and her boyfriend at point blank range...
Riverdale: The family that slays together, stays together
I want a mom like Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper has gone from being one of my least favorite characters (remember all of her petty level rankings in season 1?) to my absolute ride-or-die. Alice...
Riverdale: South Side Story
We’re finally back to our favorite small town where big, implausible things happen! Welcome back to Riverdale, everyone! The post-Christmas revelry has worn off and now we’re ready to get back to the dark,...
Riverdale: Let's get ready to rumble!
In real life, if a dumb but well-meaning 16 year old kid posed shirtless with a bunch of his friends bragging about how he was going to take down a local murderer, he would...
Riverdale: Lil' Crime Stoppers
Jughead informs us that every fairy tale has essentially the same warning: don’t go into the woods because there’s nothing but trouble there. Examples include Little Red Riding Hood meeting a hungry wolf and...
Riverdale: Drink that maple syrup Kool-Aid
As ridiculous as it sounds, the town of Riverdale was founded on the Blossom’s sweet, sweet maple syrup business. Everyone consumes Blossom maple syrup, even the Coopers. I was hoping there would be a...
Riverdale: Baby on Board
Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Riverdale, where there’s only one high school and one restaurant but there’s an Uber service that will take you to teen nightclubs. As much as I like ragging on...
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