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Super Friends! “The Giants of Doom” (part 5 of 5)
In the Egyptian desert, Captain Cold is declaring that the Legion of Doom now controls Africa. He freezes the Pyramids and the Sphinx, fulfilling our gratuitous landmark quota. Meanwhile in London, Toyman rides a gigantic toy tank (well, it’s a regular sized tank, but he’s sitting on it) through the city, naturally passing the Thames.
An army of toy airplanes appears, dropping a platoon of toy soldiers down into the city. The army surrenders faster than the French ever dreamed of, and Toyman laughs and gloats that he now controls Europe.
Our heroes reach earth, and Superman bumps right into the force field. Hilariously, they’ve animated him so that he looks larger than the goddamn planet. Nice sense of scale, guys. Hope you never design any homes.
Batman remarks about the force field (apparently, not only can he fly through space without a spacesuit, but he can also talk) and Superman tries again, this time with Green Lantern.
This fails as well, and Superman up and quits. I guess that’s why they call him the Man of Steel, eh? Batman exclaims that they’ll need to use the Justice League satellite. He wants to rewire the thing so they can turn off the force field, but Robin of all people gives a technobabble-laden excuse about how they can only turn off the field from the Hall of Justice.
And I have to say, I love how Batman just nods during all this, as if to say, “Keep it up, jackass. What, are your dolphin shorts riding up again?”
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Ed Harris
A fan of less than great cinema since childhood, Ed divides his time between writing scripts, working an actual paying job and subjecting himself willingly to some of the worst films society has produced.
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