Submerged (2005) (part 3 of 6)
Cut to the Atlantic Ocean. More specifically, to the aircraft carrier USS Clinton. Boy, the parties on that ship must be awesome.
A chopper lands and our hero finally makes his entrance. He’s shot in the shadows and… holy mother of god. I thought wearing black was supposed to have a slimming effect! Seagal looks like Joe Don Baker grew his hair out, dyed it black, and slicked it back with enough WD-40 to stock three Pep Boys stores. He’s beefy, but not in a good way. I know that Joe Don’s beefy, but at least he looks like he could beat somebody up. Seagal, on the other hand, doesn’t look like he could beat up anybody, besides that morbidly obese guy in front of him holding up the buffet line. Hell, I’d bet guys who got kicked out of the Navy for failing the physical could still make Seagal scream like a girl. Which, come to think of it, would match his running style perfectly.