Sting Interrupts 20-Plus-Year Stretch Of Boring Dirges With Lovely Version Of ‘The Old Ship’ On Colbert
Can you put your finger on the very moment your sexxxy love for Sting turned to revulsion at his pretentious bullshit? Was it Fields Of Gold? Was it that Jaguar ad? Was it that noodle-jazz-dirge version of “Roxanne” at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Yes. Yes it was. It was all of them, Katie.
We may be in the minority on this, having been a high school girl when “Nothing Like the Sun” came out. Maybe you all thought he was already boring by then. BUT WE DID NOT. That would come later, with the intrepid adventure into his navel that was “Fields Of Gold.” Here, remember this? We were 14. It was fun! It was sexy! We, like Grace Jones and Adam Ant, WILL TAKE IT!
Then the sadness came.
Here, have a bullshit Jaguar ad, because Sting obviously needed the money.
Now have a bullshit Rock and Roll Hall of Fame dirgey noodle.
Those were awful! Right? Yes! They were!
Yet here is Sting, on last night’s Colbert, playing the lovely “The Last Ship” from his new album of the same name (which is also going to be a Broadway play on which we have no opinion). It has a bit of “The Secret Marriage Vow” to it, in that it sounds like he’s taken something very very old and loved up all over it, annoying-Tantra-style.
What is that style of music? Celtic? We do not fucking know. We do not fucking care. It is beautiful.
Here’s “The Last Ship” in its entirety, from PBS. We have not watched it. Maybe it’s terrible! Maybe it’s not! If you have no job or place to be today, and you do not hate Sting, maybe you could watch it and septuple our average time on site, and let us know in the comments, because Lisa and I ain’t got time for that.