Stephen Colbert Is Ready To De-Poutinize Canadian Anchor Baby Ted Cruz (Video)
Stephen Colbert is very happy that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) has finally renounced his Canadian citizenship, but has serious doots aboot whether Cruz has actually managed to truly shed all the vestiges of his Canadianness. And so he generously offers to complete the Senator’s de-programming, to help him finally be a true American and stop tearing up whenever he hears Anne Murray. Step one: Punch a moose. And pay for your own healthcare.
After that, a wag of the finger to Led Zeppelin for maybe plagiarizing the opening of “Stairway to Heaven” from the band Spirit, a lawsuit that took over 40 years to make it to court because “the plaintiff needed time to listen to it all the way through.”
Also, a special Sportsball segment on the World Cup, with an existential look at the hollow farce that is “victory.”