May 15, 2019
Stephen Colbert Warns Of Lesbian Throuple Threat To Traditional Marriage (Video)
From Massachusetts, Stephen Colbert brings ominous news of the latest rather hot threat to the institution of marriage: three women who call themselves a “throuple” and have sparked another rightwing freakout about how legalizing same-sex marriage will ultimately kill traditional marriage dead. Or as Colbert notes, at the very least, it will ruin “traditional threesomes, which are a wedge that drives straight couples apart after what was supposed to be a fun birthday present inevitably leads to crying whenever someone hears the name Stacey.”
Of course, there’s also the boring details: the trio — Doll, Kitten, and Brynn Young (we swear we are not making that up) — aren’t actually in a legally recognized union, and there’s nobody introducing or arguing for legislation to make polyamorous unions a legal thing. The boring fact-based folks at Media Matters drily note that not a single one of the countries that have legalized gay marriage has even hinted at recognizing polygamous marriages.
Happily, Colbert focuses on what really matters: observing that, despite appearances, Fox News’s Todd Starnes is definitely not a lesbian at all, and that Antonin Scalia has been thinking about lesbian threesomes since at least Lawrence v. Texas.