Stephen Colbert Warns Of Lesbian Throuple Threat To Traditional Marriage (Video)
From Massachusetts, Stephen Colbert brings ominous news of the latest rather hot threat to the institution of marriage: three women who call themselves a “throuple” and have sparked another rightwing freakout about how legalizing same-sex marriage will ultimately kill traditional marriage dead. Or as Colbert notes, at the very least, it will ruin “traditional threesomes, which are a wedge that drives straight couples apart after what was supposed to be a fun birthday present inevitably leads to crying whenever someone hears the name Stacey.”
Of course, there’s also the boring details: the trio — Doll, Kitten, and Brynn Young (we swear we are not making that up) — aren’t actually in a legally recognized union, and there’s nobody introducing or arguing for legislation to make polyamorous unions a legal thing. The boring fact-based folks at Media Matters drily note that not a single one of the countries that have legalized gay marriage has even hinted at recognizing polygamous marriages.
Happily, Colbert focuses on what really matters: observing that, despite appearances, Fox News’s Todd Starnes is definitely not a lesbian at all, and that Antonin Scalia has been thinking about lesbian threesomes since at least Lawrence v. Texas.