Start Your Day Out Terrified By Worrying That Your Car Is Infested With Spiders

Thinking about driving your car? My suggestion is to take your car to the local gas station, hand an attendant your wallet and credit cards and then proceed to douse your car in gasoline and send it straight to Hades.

Why are we committing auto-cide you ask?

Spiders.

And no, this isn’t the plot of the newest Syfy original movie…yet.

It is quite real and quite the problem in logistics for Toyota. They have recalled 870,000 of their vehicles including Camrys, Venzas and hybrids. They even got the hybrids! What did they ever do to you, spiders!?

While the cause of the recall on paper is a faulty part inside of the air conditioning system for the vehicles, the underlying reason is an arachnid menace. The intruding pests are forcing water to leak from the A/C and into the airbag controls, causing the devices to deploy without much warning. Power steering and the vehicle warning lights may also be affected by the issue.

It seems that the spiders were making their way into the vehicle’s condenser modules and weaving themselves a lair. A realm they can call their own.

So far, Toyota is aware of three airbag deployments as a result of this and 35 cases of warning lights coming on, Toyota spokeswoman Cindy Knight said. In the cases Toyota has investigated, the only consistent cause of the blockages has been spider webs. Knight could not say if spiderwebs caused every incident, however.

Do the spiders know full well that they are ruining Toyota’s day? I would venture to say yes, much in the same way that they are adding unneeded stress to your morning showers and panicking your small dog into defensive struggle for supremacy of the kitchen.

Now look, I’ve seen “Arachnophobia” a few dozen times. I know how these beasts think. They’re out to get us, especially Jeff Daniels and his family (not fans of “The Newsroom” I’d assume).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLun1Fi2n_4

It’s a good thing Toyota caught this early enough to really save us from a widespread panic. How do you even get a broom under the hood of the car in the first place? They’d be impossible to kill.

This isn’t the first case of spiders causing mischief with vehicles. Mazda faced similar problems in 2011 regarding their Mazda6 being compromised by spider webs in the gas tank.

I myself faced a similar menace a few years ago when a pesky creature clogged up my gas tank fume vent (or whatever name you car folks use, I’m too busy driving places and ruining lives). Was it out of spite? I say yes. They are well aware of what they are doing and how we feel about them. It is their world and we are just living in it.

The only thing worse would be snakes in my toilet or random bugs in my bed, crawling on my skin while I prayed to a deity that I didn’t believe in, but hoped existed in that moment.

So if you own a Toyota or are thinking of buying one, give it some thought. Take a few minutes to check for spiders waiting to ruin your car and deploy some safety into your face.

Thank your lucky stars this isn’t as widespread as it could be. We could easily go from a Jeff Daniels to a full on David Arquette “Eight Legged Freaks” situation in no time.

[CNN Money]

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  • $73376667

    I’ve lived in Florida and Louisiana long enough to appreciate anything that eats the things that eat me (i.e. mosquitoes).And I figure a spider wouldn’t hang around if there wasn’t anything for it to eat.