Star Trek: Voyager “Threshold” (part 7 of 7)

After this brain-bustingly idiotic scene, there’s a shot of Voyager, with a log entry from Chakotay. Like most log entries in the final five minutes of a Trek episode, this one exists purely to wrap things up as quickly as possible, and usher us right back into the status quo just in time for the next episode.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more preposterous, Chakotay declares that they’ve decided to leave the “offspring” of Janeway and Paris “in their new habitat”. Speech. Less.

Doesn’t this… I mean, wouldn’t this have huge biological ramifications for… I mean… The violations of the Prime Directive alone would… And *snap*. Pardon me, but I’ve gone to my happy place now.

Down in Sick Bay, the Doctor has already restored Janeway and Paris to their normal selves. Just like that! But he wants them both to remain there for three days.

There’s really nothing they can do or say in these final minutes that would even register in anyone’s minds after the absurdity of that last scene. But they go through with it anyway. Janeway goes over to Paris and says, “I’ve thought about having children. But I must say I never considered having them with you.” Har har! All in a day’s work, right, Captain? Paris doesn’t remember initiating the “uh…”—that’s what he calls it, “uh…”—but we all know what he really means: Hot, freaky salamander love.

Caption contributed by Albert

“Sorry, I had no idea these things don’t close up at the back!”

She hepburns, “What makes you think it was your idea? Sometimes it’s the female of a species that initiates mating!” That species being… human. Right? I mean, they didn’t become some other species, did they? They just supposedly “evolved” into some higher form of human life. Didn’t they? Did anybody proofread this script? Or were they too busy vomiting after reading the last scene?

To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
This post is available to our patrons who pledge $5 or more per month on Patreon. Click the “Unlock with Patreon” button below to sign up with Patreon or to log in with your existing Patreon account.
Already a qualifying Patreon member? Refresh to access this content.
Multi-Part Article: Star Trek: Voyager "Threshold"
TV Show: Star Trek: Voyager

You may also like...

  • Statalyzer

    Worst episodes:

    Shades of Gray
    Spock’s Brain
    Turnabout Intruder

  • Statalyzer

    { I have to be honest here, and admit I don’t care for the Voyager opening credits one bit. They’re way too laid back and dreary. And I’ll even concede that the Deep Space Nine credits are just as uninspired, and it’s entirely possible that if I listened to the Deep Space Nine theme song and the Voyager theme song back-to-back, I might not even know which was which }

    Making fun of this episode is such low-hanging fruit, and yet you still blew it here.