Jul 3, 2019
Star Trek: Voyager “Threshold” (part 5 of 7)
Cut to the Doctor and Kes furiously working in Sick Bay. The Doctor, being his bad holographic self, walks right through the isolation force field and messes with some Whatever Devices next to Tom. Tom’s up and alert, even though, putting it delicately, his head currently looks like a butternut squash. He says, “You’re losing me, aren’t you? I’m gonna die!”
The Doctor replies, “You’re too stubborn to die, Mr. Paris.” Not a fantastic line, but in an episode this putrid, I’ll take it, and spend at least a short moment appreciating that it’s not technobabble. The Doc prepares a technobabble-licious treatment while Tom morbidly envisions what will be written on his tombstone: “Here lies Thomas Eugene Paris, beloved mutant!” Strangely enough, that’s what was already going on there, before this all happened.
The Doc initiates some sort of “radiometric” treatment, and Paris says his epitaph will now read “beloved radioactive mutant!” Sorry, but I think that one’s already been taken by Tor Johnson. Now, time for go to bed!
Then, in between gasps for air, Paris just starts full-on babbling about his imaginary funeral, and pretty girls crying at his funeral, but not B’Elanna because she doesn’t cry, and his dad thinks crying is “a sign of weakness”, and he’d cry in his room all the time as a kid, because his room was quiet, and he liked to go there, and he “lost [his] virginity in that room. [!!] Seventeen. Parents were away for the weekend.” This is like, his Virginia Woolf moment.
The Doc says, “I’ll note that in your medical file.” Heh. (By the way, is it worth nitpicking that B’Elanna did cry, in the first season episode “Faces”—right in front of Tom? Nah, I didn’t think so, either.)