Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) (part 9 of 13)

Now that they’re warping to their new destination, Sybok gets on the ship-wide intercom and urges the crew to, no kidding, “consider the questions of existence.” As always on Star Trek, extras in Starfleet uniforms stop dead in the corridors and subside into placid-faced listening mode, rather than continuing to walk to wherever the hell they were going in the first place.

Caption contributed by scootermark

Consider the questions of existence. Like, for example, the question of why flares still exist in the 23rd century.

Sybok explains to the crew that his emotional, pre-logical Vulcan ancestors believed in a place where these questions can be answered, and asserts that despite modern debunking, this place is real. He builds exuberantly up to his announcement that they’ve all been chosen to find “Sha Ka Ree”. Yes, that’s right. Vulcan paradise was named after the guy they couldn’t get to play the role of the guy who’s obsessed with finding Vulcan paradise. Well, that makes perfect—wait, huh?

Sorry, dude, but you’ll never be able to find Sha Ka Ree. He’s busy doing television. (Is it possible for us to have an Un-Repeat Offender—someone who’s repeatedly not in Agony Booth movies? Except, starring in the sprawling mindfuck that is Zardoz should count triple, so it’s all a wash, I guess.)

But you know what would have been a way better name? Mill Wah Kee. I mean, that’s a place where cans of beer spontaneously appear in the river! How can it not be paradise?

To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
This post is available to our patrons who pledge $5 or more per month on Patreon. Click the “Unlock with Patreon” button below to sign up with Patreon or to log in with your existing Patreon account.
Already a qualifying Patreon member? Refresh to access this content.

Mark "Scooter" Wilson

Mark is a history guy, a graphics guy, a guy for whom wryly cynical assessments of popular culture are the scallion cream cheese on the toasted everything bagel of life. He spends his time teaching modern history at Brooklyn College, pondering the ancient Romans at the CUNY Graduate Center, and conjuring maps and illustrations for ungrateful bankers at various Manhattan monoliths. Readers are welcome to guess at reasons why he's nicknamed Scooter, with the proviso that all such submissions are guaranteed to be rather more interesting than the truth. Mark lives in the Midwood section of Brooklyn with a happy-go-lucky, flop-eared dog named Chiyo who is probably, at this very moment, waiting patiently for her walkies.

Multi-Part Article: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

You may also like...