Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) (part 13 of 13)

On the (now-crimson [?]) surface of the Planet Mauvejave, Kirk has fled the shuttle, which had begun to blow up, and is now climbing up some rocks. (I’m not sure where he is, because the shuttle was parked way out in the flats, but whatever.) The Angry Face of God pursues him, and I’m totally waiting for it to scream that the penis is evil. But all we get is inarticulate squealing, and lots of eye-bolts that totally fail to hit anywhere near Kirk. Finally, Kirk reveals his decades of tactical training by climbing to the top of the ridge, and presenting a perfectly exposed target against the night sky.

Caption contributed by scootermark

Turns out God’s an old hand at hide-and-go-seek, too. In fact, that’s how he caught Eve with the apple. True story!

The God-being wails “Yoooouuuu!!” one more time, and gets ready to shoot eye-bolts at Kirk. But at the last second, the Klingon ship appears dramatically behind Kirk and blasts God to smithereens. Yay, the Klingons killed God! Wow, Nietzsche was way off on that one.

Kirk assumes he’s next, and the Klingons’ gun-turret actually turns on him (this will be really funny when we see who’s at the controls), but instead, he’s beamed aboard the Klingon ship.

Caption contributed by scootermark

”I am Kali, goddess of destruction! I am Lilith, queen of demons and I am Ishtar, bloody Ishtar!”

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Mark "Scooter" Wilson

Mark is a history guy, a graphics guy, a guy for whom wryly cynical assessments of popular culture are the scallion cream cheese on the toasted everything bagel of life. He spends his time teaching modern history at Brooklyn College, pondering the ancient Romans at the CUNY Graduate Center, and conjuring maps and illustrations for ungrateful bankers at various Manhattan monoliths. Readers are welcome to guess at reasons why he's nicknamed Scooter, with the proviso that all such submissions are guaranteed to be rather more interesting than the truth. Mark lives in the Midwood section of Brooklyn with a happy-go-lucky, flop-eared dog named Chiyo who is probably, at this very moment, waiting patiently for her walkies.

Multi-Part Article: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
Tag: The Star Trek Movies

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  • Statalyzer

    { What would a Trek film be without a sing-along? Sadly, the makers of Insurrection were wondering the same thing. }

    The odd/even Trek movie thing doesn’t *quite* work because Search for Spock was better than Nemesis. To fix it, instead of “odd movies are bad”, use the following rule:

    “The movie is bad when any main characters sing” which accounts for 5, 7, 9, and 10 being bad. That leaves out 1, but The Motion Picture couldn’t have had any singing as it would have distracted from the boredom.

  • downtown21

    “I’m pretty sure that by Kirk’s time, Earth is unified and there aren’t any nations anymore”

    In our time, the USA is “unified” but we still have states. The UK is “unified” but Scotland, Wales and England still exist. A world government could very easily be a confederation of nation-states, just like the UFP is a confederation of world governments.

  • Unknown 1081

    It could have been worse; originally, Spock and Bones were going to betray Captain Kirk, too, but DeForest Kelley and Leonard Nimoy bluntly told him no way, given how OOC it would be and given the events of the three previous films…