Star Trek (TAS) “The Pirates of Orion” (part 2 of 3)
The pursuing ship is ignoring Captain O’Shea’s demands for their registry and purpose. O’Shea orders evasive maneuvers, but it’s no use. The alien vessel is on them like a tick.
Not that kind of tick. Man, I miss that show. Hell, I still have the original comics stashed somewhere.
Back on the Enterprise, Uhura reports picking up the Huron’s automated distress beacon, and says the ship isn’t responding to hails. Spock reports the Huron isn’t at the rendezvous point, and Kirk orders a new course, to go a-Huron hunting. Soon, they find the vessel, and Spock determines it was attacked… before he passes out! Damn, and there’s no inflatable McCoy this time to help.
In Sickbay, McCoy (the real one) says they gotta have that drug. Go see Majel, DeForrest; she can hook you up. McCoy reports the synthetic isn’t working, and Kirk tells him to do what he can. McCoy blurts, “Blasted Vulcan! Why couldn’t you have red blood like any normal human?”
Do I even have to point out how nonsensical that sentence is?
Kirk heads over to the disabled Huron with Uhura and Scotty. Christine also beams over with them.
Kirk orders Uhura to check the log, and tells Scotty to scope out the hold, while Christine tends to the wounded. Wow, all kidding aside, I like how the writer had Kirk specifically choose members of the landing party to handle specific tasks. Scotty reports the hold is empty, Uhura says the computer is down but she can take the tapes with them, and Christine says the captain needs surgery but he’ll survive. I guess the other two are dead, then? Back on the Enterprise, McCoy reports O’Shea will pull through, while Arex says the Huron’s sensor tapes reveal the attacking ship is an unknown design, but they can track it. Kirk orders the Enterprise to pursue.
In Sickbay, McCoy says they’ll have to put Spock on a respirator soon, and he laments that without all his fancy-dan gadgetry and drugs, he might as well be practicing in the Middle Ages. Buck up, McCoy; you’re the guy who used cement to save that rock creature in “Devil in the Dark”!
The Enterprise tracks the alien vessel to an asteroid field, and Kirk posits that this is a good place to hide. Sulu concurs and says the trail has gone cold. Kirk orders the ship to slow to warp one.
Warp one. Warp one is the speed of light. Kirk is taking the Enterprise through an asteroid field at the speed of light. And Sulu doesn’t object.
Somehow, Han Solo seems just a little bit less awesome now.
Something explodes off of Enterprise’s shields, and Arex explains the asteroids are composed of a highly unstable mineral. Ah, so they’re giant pop rocks! Scotty suggests that, if harnessed, the asteroids would be a great source of energy, while Kirk thinks they would be a tremendous weapon. Kirk tells Sulu, “Steady as she goes.” At warp one. Just sayin’.
Enterprise’s starboard shields are struck by a beam of energy. Kirk wants to face the attackers head on, and orders Sulu to swing hard to port. Do I even have to try and explain what’s wrong with this picture? The alien vessel appears on the viewscreen, and Arex says he recognizes it as an Orion vessel. Kirk says “Orion” as if the word calls back an old, fond memory..
The Orions hail the Enterprise and Kirk puts them on screen. We see—
Oh, now wait a minute! These aliens are blue! Everyone knows Orions are green!
What kind of crap is this?! You can’t have two different members of the same species with a different skin color, that’s…