Star Trek (TAS) “Albatross” (part 2 of 4)
The Dramian known as Deimos explains that McCoy was head of a massive inoculation program nineteen years ago. Because Dramians couldn’t make drugs for themselves back then, either. Deimos says McCoy was responsible for the subsequent plague deaths that followed. Kirk says McCoy can’t be guilty, and Deimos says that will all wash out in the trial. Kirk calls Dramian justice a “kangaroo court”. Is there any alien culture in the Trek universe with a just and fair legal system? Just sayin’.
Kirk talks to McCoy about it, and Bones just isn’t sure whether or not he might be guilty of the universe’s biggest malpractice case. Well, to be fair, if I had to talk about an incident nineteen years ago, I would be hard pressed to remember details. Hell, I have trouble remembering what I had for dinner last Wednesday! Kirk and Spock leave, and McCoy’s prison is activated: a beam of light.
I guess the Dramians believe in the honor system. Now I know where Rick Berman and Jeri Taylor got their inspiration for the Kazons and that stupid line-is-the-cell idea.
You know the episode is bad when I’m taking cheap shots at Voyager. And you know what else this reminds me of? Mister Freeze’s cell from Batman & Robin:
You know an episode is really bad when I’m going back to the Joel Schumacher well.
The Enterprise heads for Dramia II. Along the way, Spock checks the records and finds information on the plague. He notes that the symptoms are a change in skin pigmentation, then death. He also notes that some species are immune, among them Vulcans.
Gee, I wonder if that’ll be relevant later.
Back on Dramia, McCoy’s guard informs Deimos about Kirk heading to Dramia II to conduct his own investigation. He orders a ship prepared for him so he can follow. Meanwhile, Kirk is making a captain’s log, noting that the Enterprise is beyond subspace communication with Starfleet, and he’s acting under his own authority. Like Kirk needs an excuse. It’s Kirk, people. Doing whatever the hell he wants is why we love him. Sulu then reports that a vessel is tailing them. Kirk deduces it’s Deimos, and decides to trick him into coming on board the Enterprise. He has Sulu “accidentally” leave the shuttle bay doors open.
The Dramian ship approaches Enterprise and…
Wow. Just… wow. That is a horrible design. It’s yellow and ugly, just like the Dramians. It looks like a space school bus.
A TAS/Magic School Bus crossover? Make it so!
Hey, for all we know it might be a space school bus. Maybe this was the only ride Deimos could get his hands on? Anyway, the commander has no clue he’s being set up. He flies right into the Enterprise hangar, parks it, then sneaks into the ship, obviously thinking no one noticed him. You’d think a guy with a head that big would be smart, but I guess not. Kirk and Spock confront the man. Alien. Whatever. Deimos goes for his gun…
…but Kirk points out he ain’t in a position to take on an entire crew. Deimos says Kirk doesn’t have the authority to conduct an independent investigation, and he’ll report Kirk to the Federation. Kirk tells him they’re out of communication range and Deimos’ ship has been impounded because he’s legally a stowaway. Deimos says, “I have been tricked!”
How do you say “duh!” in Dramian?